It's been just over two hours...

...since President Hinckley passed away and about one hour since I found out.

I stopped by the radio station to upload the hundred or so network commercials into the system that I download on a weekly basis. I download mp2's, convert them to wav's and then change their titles to adapt to our system of doing things. It was during my 1 hour of breaking the sabbath to get ahead this week that I found out about President Hinckley's fate. Kristin called me, knowing that I usually get bugged when I want to do something quick, to say "Brian, sorry to bug you but I just wanted to let you know that President Hinckley passed away." I can't say I was surprised, he was 97, but my mind was overwhelmed with memories that I really should write down.

When I was a lost soul, 20 years old and NOT on a mission I was looking for something to turn to. I had made mistakes and I just wanted to feel at peace. I never doubted the story of Joseph Smith and the restoration of the gospel, if anything I just didn't know much about it.

At this time I was attending Weber State and I was doing radio there on 88.1 FM. My interests included everything communications, so I got a jobs in C.A.T.S. (Communications, Arts and Technologies). Part of that job entitled me to be a camera man at various campus events. It was a boring job, but one event wasn't so boring. Gordon B. Hinckley was to be the speaker at Commencement, 1999. For 25 mintes or so President Hinckley spoke on America. He spoke about not giving up on America. Read the article by clicking here. My camera work was broadcast on Channel 7, KUED later that week.

I was hoping for an earth shattering prophecy, but it didn't happen. I remember how excited some people were to see him and how protestant others were of his visit. It never hit me that there was so much oppostition out there. I must have been completely ignorant!

After the commencement I hung around (because I was on the TV crew) and tried to 'bump' into him. I thought that if this man met me, and if he was truly a prophet of God he would speak up and tell me that I should be on a mission. As dumb as this sounds, I was hoping that would happen. I thought that that would be what it took to give me the desire to serve. It didn't happen, they were pretty efficient at sneaking him out of the arena.

A few months later I decided that Weber State wasn't for me. I wasn't able to sign up for classes because I flunked out the previous year and I was wasting my time with piddly little jobs. In October of 1999 I got a job in SLC at 107.5 "THE END" and so I decided I could commute to Salt Lake just as easily from Orem as I could Ogden. It was time to move home. On the final trip from Ogden to Orem, I had the last of my stuff in my car and since 107.5 was a parttime job, I thought I would look for another job on the way down. Where did I stop? Well... KSL, KUTV, the DELTA CENTER and FOX 13. Every Sports or TV station on the way home. I filled out job applications and awaited a call.

KSL didn't waste any time, they called me for an interview a few days later. I got a job at a TV STATION! Cool stuff. What was I doing?? I now worked in the mail room.

KSL is a church owned station and it was pretty weird to sort copies of TIME magazine with Gordon B. Hinckley's name on it. In fact, I fantasized of the day when the church would be on the cover and I would just take President Hinckley's copy of TIME magazine for a personal momento. It never happened, the church was on the cover a few months after I quit.

Anyway, KSL opened up a few more opportunities. If you remember, when President Hinckley turned 90 they had a big event for him in the brand new conference center. As an employee of KSL I had the opportunity to attend the dress rehersal the night before the actual broadcast. I scooped up some tickets and took Ginger (The girl I was obsessed with at that time) and my sister and her husband. The show was great, it had Gladys Knight and others.

That day also included my car blowing a tire on I-15, driving back to SLC with Ginger on a spare, trying sushi for the first time, and sleeping in my sisters new house (the first one to do so!) while it was still being built. I slept at Karina's house because her husband John could drive me to SLC in time for my shift the next day. The next day I was expected to go back to work without a change of clothes and I am not sure if I showered either. YUCK

So, I arrive at work early enough to take my car to a tire shop and get back to KSL to start my shift. What is my first assignment that day?? To take KSL's official 90th birthday cake to Church Headquarters. I smelled and looked like I slept in my clothes, but I took on the challenge. With the help of Chad, BIC Corporate's secretary, we picked up the cake and began to transport it to the headquarters.

On the drive to headquarters I fantasized of walking into the room with the cake, singing President Hinckley happy birthday and having him rebuke me for not being on a mission. When we arrived there, we were met by security who said "leave the cake on the table, thanks and have a great day." Grrrrr...

I look back and think that if I was better dressed I would have asked to meet him, but I also know that it wouldn't have happened. I later saw that cake on KSL TV with some of the anchors lighting the candles. The celebrities get all the fun!!!

I never got the rebuking from President Hinckly that I wanted, but he did it in other ways through his various talks and comments. His was a voice that would instantly calm me down, or make me listen up. It was a voice that would almost make me cry just to listen to, I felt like I was hearing the voice of God. And what I do know, and always seemed to know, was that he spoke for God. He was his prophet here on earth.

We are unique in that we do not believe this to be a tragedy, instead it is a moment in which we can be happy for President Hinckley because he is with Marjorie. I am only sad because I will never hear him speak live again. At tomorrow's news conference the new president of the Church, Thomas S. Monson will be announced. Welcome President Monson.

-Brian