Our big 3 1/2 year old Ryanna (p.s. Quinten's follows this post)

Oh goodness where to begin. This girl is like a tidal wave of every emotion all day long and Brian and I take our turns of pulling our hair out while the other laughs and enjoys the clever, often exploding lecture or defense that this 3 year old can cook up. I could write my own book on the glory of Love and Logic parenting(http://www.loveandlogic.com/ if you're wondering what this is all about). One problem: this little girl can burn my fuse in about 2 seconds and then it's Love and Logic what?? On the same token she can double me over with laughter in less than 1 second not to mention melt a heart in the time it takes a corner of her mouth to curl. Aside from her pursuit of world domination, here is what she has been up to:

*Big Sister Extraordinair! Or in her mind a second mother/dictator to Quinten. The two of them chase, wrestle, and amuse each other all the time with less and less disastrous endings. She's the first to notice Q's happenings and likes telling him when he's being a big boy.

*Finding new physical limits. For a kid who waited to crawl, cruise, and walk months after the average she sure loves a physical challenge now. Just yesterday I watched her push the ottoman about 4 feet from the couch and began a game of throwing herself between it and the couch. She kept inching it further until I had to ask her to stop moving it. I've thought about finding something like tumbling to enroll her in this year.

*Her memory amazes me, from events she recalls to books she has memorized. Most recently she asked me about the time Mary came over and they sang the Cinderella song and drew pictures. She was talking about her 2nd birthday and talked about details like it was yesterday. She also memorizes her books and I have no idea until one day she just starts telling me it and knows every word from beginning to end. The first time she did this was in May with her book Happy Bear: Christmas Star. Tonight she "read" me a book I've read her 7 or 8 times. It amazes me.

*Social situations usually decrease Ryanna's self control. Some of the time she is thrilled to be out and around people and behaves herself while enjoying herself. Other times she is intimidated and clams up. Her version of shy is often accompanied with screaming fits when asked to participate or when someone trying to help gives her an encouraging smile or pep talk. These situations are doomed for meltdown which we've learned will be nothing less than an out of control ear splitting tantrum. Embarrassing? Yes. Predictable? Nope. I say it is unpredictable because other times she seems to thrive on the sounds, sights, movement, and people around her. She is quick to make friends at the park and most of the time is a great helper and playmate in nursery. What keeps our heads spinning is we have yet to figure out what to expect, when. So far we only know that she lives in the moment and is sure about her feelings or choice in whatever moment that is. Some kids can be talked out of being shy, angry, sad, or over excited. At this point Ryanna knows herself and will be darned before you can change her mind; determined.

*As we've struggled with things just described there have been less than good parenting moments; When frustration has shown through more than the constant, unconditional love and pride we always feel in our hearts for Ryanna. She recently has deepened her sensitivity and wants to know she is loved and approved of. She wants to know that no matter what we love her. After some self reflection I decided to start some traditions of bonding to help show her(not just tell her) that she is not only my daughter but someone I love to be with.

*The tradition I am talking about is reading chapter books with her. We've always read books together and I know she enjoys that time with me. But now I've decided that she has graduated to chapter books and children series with mom. Since I was pregnant with her I knew I would read my favorite books to my children. I started collecting books that I loved (while growing up and discovered now as an adult) that I could share with them as they grew older. I really didn't expect to start this with Ryanna as a 3 year old but I felt strongly that this could be just the thing to deepen our bond and communicate my love for her by sharing my love of good books. The first book had to be something special and I knew what it would be without question: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl. My earliest childhood memory is sitting on the green, shag carpet at my mom's feet flanked by my 2 older brothers as she read this book to us. That memory is so precious to me that I have kept the very copy of the book my mother read to me from, waiting for the day I could read it to my kids. To already be there is an emotional time for me. It makes me feel like I am like my own mother and that thought lends assurance that I'm on the right track.

*Ryanna is a friend. She talks about her "two best friends Kenna and Bensy" all the time. For the last two weeks the last thing she asks before falling to sleep is if she will see her friends the next day. I've learned the surest way to get her to stay in bed is to tell her if she doesn't get up we'll "see about playing with your friends tomorrow." We are so lucky to be surrounded by amazing friends here in Vernal and that my two best friends here Kristen Baumgarten and Sha Nielson have wonderful children my kid's ages. I couldn't ask for more while living away from our families.

*A close second to talking about her friends is asking about her cousins: where they are, when we will see them again, and if they will come to Vernal soon. Ryanna has 3 girl cousins within 6 months older than she is and just this summer has decided she LOVES them and needs to play with them SOON,  in her words.

*Did I mention Shelly is petrified of Ryanna? Do I really need to explain why?

*Ryanna has red, white, and blue running through her veins. If you ask her where she is from she will sometimes say she's from "Vernal, Utah, United States in America". She has a placemat of the United States and on her own has learned many of the states by asking us the names and remembering them. She likes to review places she has been and where she hopes to go again. The other day she got the map out and asked me where California was. Not to tell her but she asked as a teacher would a student. She then told me that "when it snows we will go to California." We spent last Christmas in San Diego with Grandpa Baldwin and Grandma Barbara. Ryanna is all onboard with Brian's plan for that to be an annual event. :)

Obviously I could go on and on as I already have. As a mother I have moments every day it seems where I feel inadequate and question my abilities. I realize that that mostly indicates that I have been blessed with a strong, high spirited daughter who knows who she is and where she is going. What better qualities could I ask for? She will be facing an ever increasing complex world full of confusion and corruption and it will take nothing less of determined strength to conquer what comes her way. I love this little girl and her big spirit. Brian adores and admires her with me. Quinten looks to her and only knows a world with her marching head held high in it. For now she is a leader and light in our home and someday she will be that in this world.