Here is what I am not scared of:
#1 Making a fool of myself. I have done it so much, but I will tell you now... my intentions are ALWAYS good. I may do stupid things that make it look like I'm an idiot, but the reason I did those things I will never be ashamed of.
#2 A little competition. There is nothing like battling through anything athletic and having little rivalries. I'm like that with any aspect in my life. I want to do things better, be better than the others, and fight to win. I love the competitive nature.
#3 Speaking my mind. So many people tell me "don't worry about what others think of you..." Um,... I don't have that problem. I say what I think, mean what I say. Some people can't handle truth and want everything sugar coated... or they expect you to walk a certain line, or play games. Not me. If I love you, I love you and I will tell you. If it bugs you that I do... the problem lies with you.
#4 Forgiveness. I wish that someday someone would understand how much I have had to forgive in my life... How much forgiveness I have needed in my life. It surprises people that I can move on and forgive... but here's the catch: I can spot B.S. from a mile away. If you want forgiveness it has to be sincere.
#5 Love. Sometimes I love too much, too soon... and I get hurt. But I have to remember that that does not mean I'm flawed... It means that someone else does not feel worthy of that love.... or they flat out don't want it. Just because I love you and you might not feel the same way doesn't mean that you have to be rude about it.
#6 the Truth. I know liars. I spot them from a mile away, and if I know you are lying I will drag it out of you. Hurting me with the truth is one thing, it is an entirely bigger deal if you hurt me with a lie... because I know. Even if I didn't know about it right when it happened, doesn't mean that I won't figure it out. I'm truthful... I expect it back.
#7 Respect. I respect motherhood, fatherhood, and a person's individual rights. What I do not respect is when one person controls or manipulates another because they know that they can... I cannot respect that. I respect those who give respect... and I give it until I see no reason to. I respect the respectful.
#8 Hard Work. I have gotten to where I have because of hard work. I put my energies to what I want to accomplish. I have worked incredibly hard through adversity, failures, and doubters... Again, I don't care what they think of me. I do what I want to do. I have always been able to achieve what I wanted. If my work ethic scares you... I'm sorry.
#9 Learning new things. I don't hunt or fish. I haven't at least... It doesn't mean that I don't want to learn... I'm a city boy... never had that opportunity. If I'm not as valuable on someone's list because I don't do everything they think I should, doesn't mean I'm less of a person. I'm always looking for more experiences.
#10 an Open Mind. I am so good at looking at things from both sides of the coin. I have my beliefs, but I am not immune from sympathizing with the other side of things. If I were a politician I would always look at the issues and never vote 'party' only. I can change my mind... As I grow, as I love, as I become a better person... I can change.
#11 Confidence. I know my worth. I know my potential. I know what I can offer. Sometimes I'm too confident, but I'm not usually cocky. I get down on myself sometimes... I have my limitations... but I also will rise to a fight.
#12 My limitations. I know my limitations... It doesn't mean that I can't try my hardest to overcome them and fail... back at number one, I'm not scared to make a fool out of myself... if you don't like my limitations and how it has me react to things... then fine. I know who I am... You are not required to love me. I love who I am. I know who I am.
#13 A fight. I'm not scared to fight for what I know is right.
If you have judged me on any one of those things, more power to ya. I want you to think about it though... what have I judged you on? I'm not trying to be all preachy or high and mighty... but I'm hurt... and I'm fighting... and I'm fighting against the idea that I am not enough.
