The problem with the world is that we draw the circle of our family too small. ~Mother Teresa

(*NOTE* Here's the link to the book/study about religion in America that I haven't read yet but have read about and got me going on this train of thought. http://americangrace.org/ And here is the link about just some of what the book had to say about Mormons in American Culture http://beta-newsroom.lds.org/article/major-new-study-of-religion-has-much-to-say-about-mormons )

I could probably write half a dozen separate posts right now but I think I'll just see what I can get down in one. I think it starts with my faith as a Mormon and more specifically my devotion to Jesus Christ.

Sometime last summer I had one of my brain clouds - I get a feeling to learn more about something and feel compelled to collaborate and learn from/with others. I call it a "brain cloud" because it just kind of slowly moves in like a fog and stays around until I either do something about it or ignore it long enough it fades into the background. Well this particular brain cloud had to do with religion.

How do different faiths interact? How do the individuals generally view one another? What perceptions do we have of each other? Which of these are based in truth or misconception? What common ground do we share? What kind of neighbors do we make? And then more personally, what is it about the Mormon faith that makes others so uncomfortable? How do I open the door to discussion?

Last summer I had the great opportunity to spend time with some best friends(you know who you are!) in Montana who are of a variety of faiths. I was somewhat surprised when one friend hesitantly(and respectfully I'll add) asked if it was okay to ask me a question about being Mormon.  I indicated I was an open book to any of their questions or comments no matter how controversial they may seem. So the big question was what did I think about the South Park episode about Mormons?? Okay, it was a funny moment. First of all I hadn't seen it but regardless of what was in the show I told them it didn't really bother me. And honestly it doesn't. I mean I suppose it was full of  UNtruths and DISrespectful jokes but that really has nothing to do with a religion.

Here's an example: For hundreds of years in literature, media, and television, Judaism has been MISrepresented, MISjudged, and DISrespected. But where has most Christians(and others) received their information to form opinions on Judaism in general and in America? From the MIS- or DIS- sources(I'm referring to books, media, TV, etc MISinforming and DISrespecting). Not usually from a direct source...you know like an actual person who practices Judaism. What a concept!


So I've asked myself. What would a "direct source" about a religion or faith look like? What about an entire community of individuals who can turn to a real person and find out what that actual person believes, what faith they follow, and how that faith lives and breathes for them? I don't really mean in a missionary/spread the word type of way. Rather I mean as an informative, respect driven forum? Obviously technology makes this concept exceptionally easy even for the less tech savvy of folks. But still I hesitate because it just seems a little too good to be true. Easiser said than done.

Religion is a lot like politics and its discussion can turn your average person into a bubbling brew of passionate lecture, spewing out vague phrases like "burn in hell" - what does anyone really mean by that anyway?? I mean does anyone out there actually believe in a little red devil with horns and a spiked tail? And likewise an uncompassionate God who simply sends masses to "burn" for not being born at the "right" time or within the "right" culture? I don't know. I guess maybe there are some who do but my gut tells me that MOST people are sincere and sophisticated in their faith. They choose to live the way that they do based on real feelings of what they see as right and wrong.

I believe MOST people feel brotherhood and compassion for the people in their community and in the world. And yet I also believe that MOST people are uneducated or misinformed(comfortably in some cases) about the core doctrines of any other faith than their own. Is there something to be feared there? In understanding what another group of people believe?

I can understand that what I'm referring to is no small task. There are probably professors of world religions who dedicate their lives to simply learning about the many faiths in this world and only scratch the surface. So is that what I'm suggesting...if so that is simply not reasonable. But what about opening or offering ourselves to those around us? Asking our friends and neighbors what they believe and with only one motive; of knowing them better. Isn't that the heart of real friendship? Sincerity. Feeling safe enough to share what makes us real and vulnerable. And religion is like that to most people. It's not a joke or a game. It's not a club or an obsession. It is where our heart feels truth - sometimes like a comforting whisper and other times like a fire burning.

That is what my faith as a Mormon is for me. It is where my heart feels truth. Like the ringing of a bell in my soul; I am a child of God. I have a purpose on this earth.


So that is where I'm coming from and a little introduction to where I think I'm going. So to all my friends of all faiths(yes, that means you!) what would an open forum of religion look like to you? Would you share what you know about your faith(Doctrines, culture, etc) and what it means to you? And any parting words of wisdom (like "hey you're a nutjob and should shut your trap")?


I'm looking for some more "open book" people out there...Is that you????? Regardless this should be interesting and I'm looking forward to it.

"If we are to have the best Christmas ever, we must reach out for the carpenter's hand."

Silent Night, Holy Night, All is Calm, All is Bright...

How do I put this..... It's been a rough patch for me. Not in any of the truly serious ways but in the simple things. I actually am finding it nearly impossible to put the feelings to words. Well here is an illustration. I cried yesterday. I hauled both kids(crying hysterically) up to my bed, laid one on one side and one on the other side of me and then carefully let go. Literally. 15 minutes previous everything had been just fine and then Ryanna bit Quinten and I planned where I could go cry. Crying for me is never spontanious or often. It is usually a very conscious choice for me. One that I can logic myself into scheduling for the right time and place. So now that I was on my bed with each child clinging to my shirt I took a deep breath and let it happen. Tears for all my fears. I'd be a complete lier if I didn't say I have fears, and quite a few of them. The one though that keeps coming up is that I'm not a good enough mother for Ryanna. I actually have the fat ego to admit I think I'm a good mom. I know I love my kids.

I tend to be level headed in the way I react to the different things they throw at me. I try to make sure they eat healthy, get enough exercise, and read plenty of books. They are kissed, hugged, and encouraged daily by two present parents. In all I feel like it should be enough but the fear is that it just isn't. Ryanna is smart. She is sensative and kind. She wants to make good choices and be a good friend. I'm so proud she is my little girl. The other side of it though is that she can explode. She can hurt(as Quinten learned yesterday and has the bite marks to prove it). She already has an unalterable opinion about nearly everything and only changes her mind on her own terms. She is anxious when seperated from me. In short she is I believe socially and emotionally immature for her age and I am afraid she needs a mom who is a "specialist" or some other version of highly qualified. To be clear I do not believe Ryanna is one of a kind nor do I believe she will in any way fail to live a full and accomplished life. The fear is more centered in my belief that all her combustable energy and potential simply needs the right careful directing in order to meet that happy/satisfied/successful end AND (here is the key) I am not sure exactly how to do the directing part. I'll keep doing my best but what if my best just isn't enough. To fail this beautiful girl is the greatest tragedy I can imagine. So what is "enough" and how can I deliver it? I honestly don't know. I do know that I'll keep giving all that I have, all the while praying that God will make up the difference.

I wonder if this is at all like the way God feels about me or you. Having such clarity of all we are capable of, all we are infinitely worth. But having to let us start from infancy and grow. Grow into that divine person he already knows we are but of which we are completely underestimating. Letting us go knowing we have weaknesses, fears, pain, or loneliness but ensuring a way to find peace, love and guidence all along the way. I know His guidance has made all the difference in my life and I guess I've finally come to the only thing I find comfort in as I worry about my own precious girl. It really won't come down to me as her mother. She was His girl first and I have to believe that somehow his desire for her success and happiness is even greater than mine.

I guess I have to make a correction. I am capable of spontanious tears and the gratitude I feel right now is the balm that I needed.



Ryanna's picture of the night baby Jesus was born. I especially
like Mary and the angel's hair that she says makes them pretty.



Natural Comedians

My kids are natual comedians. They get me laughing every day especially when they're not trying to. Quinten's constant stream of jibberish is starting to sound like real phrases and attempts at communication.Out of these phrases my favorite, however, is "Got Poop!" He points at his diaper and declares in a sure voice "Mom, Got Poop." I check his pants and find a dry diaper but within 20 minutes or so sure enough he has "GOT POOP!" I tried to use this information to see if he might feel big if I sat him on the toilet but he didn't like that at all. He just wants to give me a heads up that poop is on its way. I'm thinking this could come in handy as well as being hilarious.