the Baldwins of 'dino land'

Men's Hearts Shall Fail Them

2011-11-26T22:25:00.000-07:00

Update and pics

2011-10-30T22:24:00.001-06:00

It is sad how neglected this blog is. Below is an update I sent for the Baldwin news letter. For as much writing as I do you would think I could get on here more but obviously I just don't. I'll try to make it up to you by dispersing some pictures throughout. :)

Q the ninja, Ian the lion, Ryanna the cupcake
at the library parade

Our fall has been busy and full of new adventures. We decided to have Ryanna go to preschool this year and she has loved every minute. I taught her in a small group last year and she did love it but informed me that this year she wanted to be big and have a real teacher, not a mom teacher. :)

The head teacher at the preschool is our Bishop's wife and is amazing. She even lives up to my high(perhaps too high) expectations for education and structure in the learning setting. Quinten had a hard time with sister being in school 2 days a week. In fact, the first day he cried from the time we dropped her off until the time we picked her up. It was heartbreaking but now after 2 months he is used to the new routine and enjoying mom time.

A few months ago we decided to have Quinten tested at an early intervention program here for his speech. Though we understood a lot of what he said, most people told us they could not understand even one word. His assessment showed that he is not significantly behind but enough so that he qualifies for services such as speech therapy/play and kindermusic. When he turns 3 he will be considered for an excellent preschool here with certified speech therapists as the teachers. Don't mistake this to mean that he is seriously delayed or considered at risk of any long term delays. This is a proactive option we have and so far are pleased with the progress he is making in annuciating words instead of just blurring them all together.

Also new this fall, I've started writing news from home for the radio station Brian works for. They have been short handed and pay me per story I email to the news director. So far it has gone well. Little extra income without too much pressure or added stress. I usually do my writing after the kids are in bed and a radio news story is a pretty basic and cut down version of news. It's been nice to exercise my mind and put my writing background to use.

A good witch who was sad after
not getting to ride the bus home
from preschool

eating snow after our first snow a few
weeks ago

Visit to the newly opened Dinosaur quarry
with our buddy Dylan

excited to show mom all the bones

Of course with the school year Brian has been busy as usual. Some days he feels frustrated by his school district job and all it entails but he does great and we appreciate his hard work. He also holds an important place at the radio station as a second job and is considered the production manager. If and when the owner gets another studio built, he will also have a morning show on a country music station. We'll see how life balances out when that happens but it is exciting to look forward to.

2011-09-04T19:45:00.001-06:00

I enjoy this life with this family at this time.

I struggle every day with the right balance of it all.

For example, my dishes are almost never all done at the same time.

ALL that kind of stuff is a struggle for me.

It is never a struggle however to enjoy Ryanna.

She has a light and determination that scares me....quite a lot.

But leaves me admiring and enjoying her all the more.

She is beautiful in soul, body, and spirit.

It is never a struggle to laugh with and melt for my blue eyed boy.

There are moments I can see the person he is and will always be.

He is charming and his laugh is infectious.

I enjoy being a partner and team member to Brian.

There is a peace in having each other as we are,

and with our different perspectives on many, many things.

This family that is mine is the treasure in my heart.

I'm grateful to my Heavenly Father for his perfect love,

and blessing me to have this family.

2011-09-04T19:41:00.001-06:00

2011-09-04T19:30:00.002-06:00

Q's favorite time of day...

2011-06-29T17:22:00.000-06:00

My new Health blog

2011-06-01T23:37:00.000-06:00

So after my last post I just kept writing and writing. I decided to make a health blog for me to post the things I'm learning to share with anyone who is interested. This is just another way for me to continue this journey and you're welcome to come along. :)

http://www.healthforthehealth.blogspot.com/

Obviously the header and design need some help. Please offer any suggestions!! Let me know what you think about anything and everything.

PS- At my mother's insistance I will get back to posting pics and videos of my darling kiddos. I have some good stuff to put up to if my phone will just cooperate!!

I can't put my finger on it but my brain seems to have rewired! Let me explain...

2011-05-26T21:18:00.005-06:00

So one of those books swimming around in my head has to do with health for health's sake. It's also probably the one I will never write since it is about 5th on my idea list. Yes, dear neighbor Alyssa, I aspire to write books. Aspire being the key word. Anyway, I've posted before about the the fit challenge and again about the mini Tri. To sum up the last 5 months all I can really say is my brain seems to have partially rewired and in case anyone cared to hear what I mean I'll share.

The bald guy with the gut....that's the 2010 Kristin

Last year I was feeling physically subpar and emotionally crummy pretty much all the time when it came to the topic of my body. I knew exercise would give me more energy. I knew that eating more natural foods and having discipline with my sweets and junk intake would help me feel better and help me fit into my clothes. I knew that the campaigning about women accepting and loving their bodies didn't equate to eating pans of brownies and saying it's okay because I love myself. I knew enough about health and nutrition to know that I was headed down the wrong road, a road that was setting an unacceptable example for my kids.

Then WHY did it feel like I was facing an impossible mountain to make some changes? Why did I feel like I was setting myself up for failure and disappointment? Why did I feel so scared to just take an honest look at how my habits(big and small) were affecting my overall and longterm health?

The answer is obviously complicated but if you can relate to any of those feelings let me be the first to say I UNDERSTAND!!! The answer as I see it, though complicated, in its own way is also pretty simple. A big part of it has to do with accountability.

It is easier to say I'm okay with a few extra pounds than to admit that it's more than just 2 or 3 but closer to 30+. It's easier to say that "those" people at the gym are just ego obsessed maniacs who don't have any other meaning in their pathetic lives. It's easier to say I don't have the time, money, energy(insert word here) to exercise and eat healthy. I've got more of these up my sleeve because they are all things that I have thought or said. In fact, sometime not too long ago I told my friend Sha that(and I quote) "I'm more comfortable with some extra chub on me" and I continued by explaining how when I am thinner I actually feel less comfortable in my own skin. Of course that and all of this is nonsense. Every single one of my excuses (and possibly any that you have come up with for yourself) come from a place of insecurity. Like a little demon inside that whispers, screams, sooths, lies, taunts, justifies, criticizes, excuses and continually leaves us feeling like we aren't good enough so why try.....

I'll tell you why! Because you are amazing and deserve to feel confident, capable, strong, and in control of your choices and life!! God gave you that body as a gift. Treat it right and it will be the vessel God intended for you to fulfill your mission in this life.

I know what you're saying. CHEESE FEST 2011. I know, I know. I've heard things like that all my life and I never really thought I wasn't living up to it. I mean I didn't really consider my lack of focus on my immediate physical health as affecting my confidence, capabilities, or life's direction. But I now know it's all connected.

When I say my brain is rewired I don't mean I now spend my day thinking about my body as a gift from God and how amazing I am and how I deserve to feel, etc. I do try to remind myself of that when I'm feeling frustrated but what I mean by my brain being rewired is just that where I used to tell myself I didn't care, I now very firmly CARE.

I care that the more sedatary I am the more muscle I lose. I care that salty and sweet processed food reak havok on my insides. I care that my belly fat is literally working everyday to poisen my liver, heart, and countless other vital organs. Basically I finally CARE about my body and though I didn't realize it, my previous habits and actions were the opposite of caring; something more like hacking days off my life and livelihood. Yeah, I'm sounding pretty intense here but I honestly never knew just how bad all those "bad" foods and habits were until I took the time to really become educated.

So call me scared straight but I have to tell you I'm so grateful I started to care before I was over 200 pounds and in my 30's; two numbers I was(weight) and am(age) quickly approaching. I try to think about my daily choices as whether or not I am honoring the body I was given by God. It's a bit lofty but also helps my head stay in the right place when I feel like storming the town for cake, any and all. Golly, I do love cake BUT I've put it in the only healthy place it can be in my life, as the occasional once a week at the most treat(not the daily norm it used to be). That's how I am striving to honor my body.

I honor my body by fueling it with nutrient dense power foods.
I honor my body by challenging and strengthening my muscles.
I honor my body by pushing it; blood pumping, heart strengthening.
I honor my body by giving it recovery and rest.
I honor my body by striving to do these things every day.
And then my body honors me with energy, agility, peace, (etc); an amazing vessel to truly live in.

I don't feel like that every minute of the day but I still know that it is a true principle to live by and I find myself aligned with this focus more and more with time. It amazes me to express these feelings because my old feelings of frumpy dumpiness are still so fresh and the change has been so gradual I'm only starting to see it blossom after 5 months of consistency and hard work.

Hmmmmm.....I never really got around to telling you specifically what I've learned about HOW to be healthy and to lose weight the right way. I don't really want to crowd this blog but I gotta tell you, I was just getting warmed up here!! I suspect I have another post coming up and I'll just tell you it'll probably have a whole lot to do with belly fat. Good times I'm sure you're looking forward to. Oh and if you made it this far I'd love to hear your reaction to my above RANT. :)

In case you wondered

2011-05-22T21:39:00.000-06:00

You might think I haven't posted because I don't have much to say. Just feel blessed you are not in my head because I have about 4 books currently swimming in there constantly pressing to get out but it's proving overwhelming and impossible to fit into my life right now. I'm going to have to find an outlet soon or there is no telling what my subconscious may do........

Melinda Smith Shoot

2011-04-25T18:52:00.003-06:00

This makes 3 years I've been blessed to have the amazing Melinda Smith do a photo shoot with my kiddos. I always love her work and wish I could pay her more(cause she hardly charges anything for these mini sessions!). She is worth every penny of her normal charge but I always wait for her spring mini sessions to come around cause we are admittedly poor. The time slot is only 20 minutes or so but she always captures priceless photos that we love. Thank you Mindy!! There are more but these are all I could load up to blogger for now. Which are your faves?? I need to decide which prints to get for our living room wall. Hmmmmm.....

Easter Sunday

2011-04-24T19:45:00.001-06:00

I've always celebrated Easter as a Christian but this year I have studied the life of Jesus Christ more than ever before and so this Easter is especially meaningful to me. The details of Christ's final hours and death are painful to consider. The beauty of Easter, however, is that His death was not the end and Sunday did come. Christ's resurrection fills me with hope and deep gratitude for the gift that we will each receive; that though we will all die, we will also live again. I can't wait for the day I can give Grandpa Don another hug and a slug on the arm. I find peace in 1 Corinthians 15:22 "For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive." I hope everyone enjoyed a beautiful Easter weekend. We certainly did and even though we had fun with egg hunts and candy, we still focused on Easter as a celebration of Christ's resurrection and what a beautiful gift that is.

My beautiful family before church

Back home and somehow found some candy

Dress survived church!! The last
2 times she has worn it the front has
been torn.

Have to get a silly one in

So my AWESOME friend Sha fixed this dress right up.
It was torn badly in two places and she just glued
on this strip of flowers. It's like a new dress and
even CUTER than before!! Sha, you really are a
catch - so glad I caught you as a friend. ;)

While she was busting out her craft skills she whipped up this flower
clip for Ryanna's hair. Is there anything you can't do Mrs. Neilson?!?!
Ryanna wouldn't take it out all weekend. She kept saying "I'm just
like Kenna!!" Too bad your mom isn't as cool as Kenna's. ;)

Since I am on a love fest about Sha I better add that she whipped up a complete Easter dinner of ham, roast, potatoes, gravy, and a special sugar free treat for me. Seriously, how did I get so lucky to have such a talented, generous, and true friend?? Just to top it off I have to say in all seriousness I just love ya Sha. Thanks for all you do for me and my family. :)

Saturday Afternoon Egg Hunt

2011-04-24T19:03:00.001-06:00

We decided to do another little egg hunt for the the kids at Brian's office. I'll tell you what was on the kid's minds: Candy! Candy! Candy!

The race is on with Ryanna's buddy Malachi

Another buddy Dylan got in on the action

Quinten had no interest in the picture - only cracking those eggs open.

Thanks to the Baumgartens we had already dyed eggs for the kids to
decorate with stickers. Thanks guys! Right after this she bit the top
off shell and all. Didn't seem to phase her....

Saturday Morning Egg Hunt

2011-04-24T18:29:00.001-06:00

Our fab friends the Wardles (who also just this moment happened to drop off amazing banana cake for our Sunday dessert) hosted an egg hunt on Saturday morning. Last Thursday Ryanna was invited to an Easter party at her buddy Benson's house but had to miss it because of some less than acceptable behavior at the library. So since then she had been desperate to attend an Easter party. Thanks Tara, Andrew, and Tayson for inviting us!!

1 egg down....

I make this look good....

add a few rocks....

Isn't Kate's hair the cutest?? She's such a sweetheart.

When we first got to their house Ryanna was "shy"
Once the hunt began she was right at home :)

Oooooo what did you get??

The spoils - num num num!

Hurricane Quinten

2011-04-24T18:09:00.003-06:00

The look in his eye. The milk in his hair. Meet Hurricane Quinten.

I came home from a run on Friday and Quinten was sitting on the kitchen table. He'd dumped an entire box of Cheerios onto the table and had filled up a cup of water in the bathroom where there is a stool and drizzled the water over the giant pile of O's. He had found a spoon, clean or dirty I couldn't tell you, and went about eating his massively satisfying breakfast. The massively satisfied grin on his face said it all. Hurricane Quinten strikes again!!

ps - dad was asleep on the couch...........

My special daughter

2011-04-22T23:33:00.003-06:00

Lately everything has been "special" to Ryanna. Several times a day I hear, "But mom that is very special to me." This is usually in response to being told to put a certain toy or object she knows she shouldn't be playing with away. She has always had the ability to express herself through words, facial expressions, and emotions you can feel across the room. My words are inadequate, however, to express how truly special this little girl is to me. She has a deep beauty that I am blessed to be surrounded by. She loves openly and lives with a determined attitude. Her sweet love and acceptance of others along with her natural ability to think things through for herself are her crowning attributes. I feel so privelaged to be Ryanna's mother and to have a front row seat to her life. I know this is going to be an exciting ride!

Tonight she and her daddy are "camping" in the garage. He made her a bed in a little tent and she is thrilled by the great adventure of it. That is so our little Ryanna.

PS- more pictures to come from our Easter shoot with the amazing Mindy Smith

2011-04-16T17:55:00.001-06:00

Short version: I did a little baby triathlon today. 250 yard swim, 8 mile bike, 3 mile run. My only goal was to not stop at any time or walk during the run and I did it. Why did I do it? Well I've never really made my health a priority. This year I decided it was time to change that and eat a healthy balanced diet and by exercising 6 days a week. Thanks to some supportive friends(GO TEAM 4) and surprisingly my own determination I'm going strong. This triathlon was a lesson for me and as an example to my kiddos; of how hard work and consistency pay off and that being healthy for health's sake is worth it!!

Minutes before I was in the water "swimming"

See the 2 on my arm?

Final moments on the bike

Starting the run followed by my biggest fans :)
Bri said Q was calling for me

poor lil guy finally gave up

Crossing the finish line. See my medal?? I guess they
wanted everyone to feel special ;)

Mommy did it!

Long version: I was planning on writing about the last four months but I'm going to have to save that for later. I'll just stick with my experience today. If I decide to do a tri again I want to be able to go back and read about this experience. Well let's just get right down to business. THE SWIM: Near drowning would probably be a better description. Sure I took swimming lessons as a kid so I was probably about 10 the last time I swam a single lap and I'm sure I was below average. So a month ago my sweet and amazing friend Tari convinced me to get in the pool with her for a refresher course. It went pretty good. She said she had seen worse. So between that lesson and the swim today I've been in the pool praciticing about once a week. Well about 10 minutes before the race I found out the pool was 25 yards in length not 50 yards. Obviously my sense of distance is no good and the 2 lifeguards I asked a month ago were misinformed. So the idea of swimming twice as far made me nervous and it just didn't go well while I thrashed along in the water. Ugh. THE BIKE: This I enjoyed and knew that I would. The first 4 miles were uphill and I was passed by probably 5 or 6 pros. They were seriously impressive. The last 4 miles were downhill which is obviously a great relief while biking. I would love to invest in a road bike in the future. I just put on my classical music/MoTab/show tunes and enjoy the ride. Not much else to say about the bike.
THE RUN: Transitioning from the bike to running is killer. My legs felt like they were 500 pounds a piece. First mile I had evil thoughts. "noone will know if I walk for just a few minutes, loosen up my legs." "this was a stupid idea, running is for psychos and criminals" "Pump It?? Easy for you to say Black Eyed Peas. My legs feel like they are full of rocks!" Like I said, that transition from bike to run is killer but after about a mile I got my running legs back and felt good. Good for me is when your legs may be feeling it and I may have a side ache but I'm good with the pain and dare say enjoying the burn(for a limited time, not in the marothoner pain loving way;).

The best part of the day for me was Ryanna's excitement. I want her to know that having a real, womanly body is a beautiful gift from God. Feeling like a real woman has nothing to do with the scale or a dress size. I hope she sees that I exercise to be healthy, accepting my body the exact way that it is.

WHAT THE KIDS WERE UP TO WHILE MOM WAS MOVIN':

Happiness is a park PART 2

2011-04-05T15:56:00.000-06:00

Happiness is a park

2011-04-05T15:29:00.000-06:00

Our Q boy is 2!

2011-04-03T17:41:00.002-06:00

He knew just what to do when the candle blowing moment arrived

Leap Frog Tag books from Mommy and Daddy

Dinosaurs from sister

Trains from Grandma and Grandpa Scoffield

Chocolate cake and trains - life can't get any better!

Dino riding on train = cool!

But what could make this even better??

Train carrying dinosaur running over dinosaur = AWESOME!!!

Toys he picked out from Grandma Baldwin.
Baseball!!!

Even though he is a Democrat....

2011-03-27T01:11:00.001-06:00

I love the music of Bon Jovi. I decided this back when I was about 15 years old and I got various albums through the mail, not Columbia House, but the other one... BMG? Anyway, buy one get 10 free or something like that. I got the Keep the Faith Album and I remember sitting at my moms computer playing some civilization game I got from Kent. For hours I would play while the music was on repeat. I memorized every song on the Album and loved them all. One song that I particularly loved/love was 'Dry County.'

I loved the guitar solo, just everything about the song. It wasn't until moved to this little oil town that I was looking for coorelation between the town and the song.

Across the border they turn
Water into wine
Some say it's the devil's blood
They're squeezing from the vine

For many of the people in Vernal, the opportunities to work in the oil industry is a blessing. They all come here for jobs when they may not have the education, or have the criminal record that makes it hard to get another high paying job.

Some say it's a saviour
In these hard and desperate times
For me it helps me to forget
That we're just born to die

Even though I did not come for the oil, I came to Vernal for opportunity. I came here like many did, to find a better life. I couldn't use my degree in the land of 100,000 students and 100 history teachers applying for the same position at any given school. I got two interviews and was stuck working overnights at a hospital. I enjoyed the job, but felt that I could do better.

I came here like so many did
To find the better life
To find my piece of easy street
To finally be alive
And I know nothing good comes easy
And all good things take some time
I made my bed I'll lie in it
To die in it's the crime

It was a leap of faith to move to this 'in the middle of nowhere' town. It was a town that didn't have any places to live, let alone AFFORDABLE places. It was a leap I so wanted to take. In Provo, I had promises of a morning show at a station 'someday,' and I had no prospects for teaching. Hardly anything to stay there for.

You can't help but prosper
Where the streets are paved with gold
They say the oil wells ran deeper here
than anybody's known
I packed up on my wife and kid
And left them back at home

Now, I didn't pack up on my wife and kids, but I know plenty in this town who have, because the oils wells (or future wells) are supposedly full and deep. In 2007, it really was hard not to prosper. I had a teaching job and a wonderful (at the time) radio job that paid the bills and made life seem steady for ONCE!

Now there's nothing in this paydirt
The ghosts are all I know
Now the oil's gone
The money's gone
And the jobs are gone
Still we're hangin' on

Thanks to Ken Salazar, Interior Secretary under Barack Obama, and other policies, the oil wells have somewhat been shut down. This caused another crash of sorts in this oil town. The money started to go, the families that once prospered and accumulated large truck and house payments lost their huge paychecks. Some families, still do, worried about how they were going to be fed. In our Condo Complex alone we were once at about 30% occupancy because owners abandoned their properties and others moved out. One lady lost 10 units alone because they were unhealthy and the payments were late. Things are looking up, but not like they were in 2007.

Down in dry county
They're swimming in the sand
Praying for some holy water
To wash the sins from off our hand
Here in dry county
The promise has run dry
Where nobody cries
And no one's getting out of here alive

Anyone that graduates high school in Vernal has two options: (1) to stay in Vernal and work at Big O Tires or in the oil/gas field somewhere or (2) leave to get an education at the U of U, UVU, BYU, Utah State, etc. Although Vernal does have a great USU campus and a tech, it just isn't the same to go there for these students as it is to leave home and experience college in 'the city.'

In the blessed name of Jesus
I heard a preacher say
That we are God's children
And He'd be back someday
And I hoped that he knew
Something as he drank his cup of wine
I didn't have too good of a feeling
As I head out to the night

Vernal has seen its ups and downs. The Old timers here will tell you about the crash of 1981 or so, and how the city was left to the native Veranlites to resurrect it. Now that we have had the crash of 2008-09 no one knows exactly what the future holds. Will a new president in 2012 give us a new chance? Will a lawsuit against Ken Salazar change anything? A lot of people are out a lot of money because of the down turn in the economy. But, on the other hand, do we want uneducated oil rig workers storming around town in big trucks, tats, and scary beards having more money than those with Degrees? Do we want the crime that comes with the rough population? Vernal has been doing some spending on a new jail, new city and police headquarters, and advanced city planning in preparation for another spike in population. More hotels have been built in Vernal in the last three years than I have stayed at in my life. If we are prepared, will we prosper?

I cursed the sky to open
I begged the clouds for rain
I prayed to God for water
For this burning in my veins
It was like my soul's on fire
And I had to watch the flames
All my dreams went up in ashes
And my future blew away

I am lucky enough to have two wonderful jobs that moderately depend on the economy. I will have a job no matter what. What about those kids who I have coached and taught in one way or another whose lives and existence depend on their family thriving off of the oil and gas industry? Just like the Reds, Bengals, Jazz... I pray for the hometown team. I hope that this town begins to thrive again.

Now the oil's gone
And the money's gone
And the jobs are gone
Still we're hangin' on

We are hangin' on. We have a wonderful core in this town. We have a temple and a few tourist attractions with the dinosaurs. We have farmers and ranchers nearby. We have other mining, we have travelers come through town. We have some of the most beautiful scenary in the high Uintas including Flaming Gorge and other reservoirs nearby.

Down in dry county
They're swimming in the sand
Praying for some holy water
To wash the sins from off our hand
Here in dry county
The promise has run dry
Where nobody cries
And no one's getting out of here alive

I for one know that I am not getting out this house! I have a mortgage that is about twice what my home is worth. I am stuck here, until the demand is back.

Men spend their whole lives
Waiting praying for their big reward
But it seems sometimes
The payoff leaves you feeling
Like a dirty whore
If I could choose the way I'll die
Make it by the gun or knife
'Cause the other way there's too much pain
Night after night after night

I don't know many people in this town currently suffering, but I am aware that people are. I know that some parents are frustrated because they cannot find a job. I know some parents take it out on their children. And I know that there are other horrible effects of this bust. For those who are suffering, I pray for their big reward. Whether it be oil or not, I hope that Uintah County is not Dry County.

Down in dry county
They're swimming in the sand
Praying for some holy water
To wash the sins from off our hand
Here in dry county
The promise has run dry
Where nobody cries
And no one's getting out of here alive

About a boy and his binky

2011-03-25T15:38:00.001-06:00

Last night we could not find Quinten's binky before bed. We hadn't discussed much when we should say goodbye to his Binks but at this point it was looking like he would just go cold turkey without one. He pretty much only has his binky while he sleeps but he is I admit a Binkaholic. To make it worse we've lost any masculine looking binky ties and for a few months I've used pink ribbons to attach the binky to his jammies. While I didn't really worry about it(as if Quinten cared) I had a friend inform me she would never under any condition shame her son with the color pink. So I'd been contemplating when we should say goodbye to the binkys since I didn't plan on spending any more money on new ones or accessories.

Well, I didn't know what to expect with the cold turkey but not surprisingly he was a ball of fury. After about an hour Brian started searching and found a binky and we gave it to him. Yes, we caved. Sleep was far more important to us at that point. We are weak. Well, I read online today about how to ease a toddler away from the binky without going cold turkey. It said if you cut the tip off the binky then the child will still use it but it won't be the same and eventually they will not want a binky. Sounded good to me. Before I could think about it I got out the scissors and cut the tips off the 2 remaining binkys. I think you'll agree that by Quinten's definition that was a murder of the worst kind. I think he makes it through the first stages of grief in the next couple videos. Be prepared for a seriously runny nose - poor kid was emotional!

Video 1: Disbelief

Video 2: Confusion/Panic

Video 3: Mourning - he is saying "BROKEN!"

We'll see if he(or anyone else for that matter) ever sleeps again....

Cracks Me Up

2011-03-20T17:01:00.003-06:00

Last weekend our next door neighbors moved to Denver and it just hasn't been the same without hearing them walking up and down the stairs. I'm sure they miss hearing screaming kids next door too. Well before they left we had a little get together- out for ice cream and then they brought their Wii over to play games at our house. Shayla and I used to get together and play once in a while so we thought we'd have one last hurrah. My waistline won't miss the Brinkerhoffs(Shayla is famous for baking amazing gourmet cakes to share) but the rest of us sure do! Anyway, in the videos they are all playing Mario Cart and Ryanna is Baby Peach which is why she talks the way she does in it. Quinten and Ryanna totally crack me up in these videos. In fact, today at church Quinten was trying to do a similar tackle move on Brian and I and thought he was being hilarious. Are we ready for him to be 2 in a few weeks????? We call him our Cookie Monster because he asks for cookies now for every meal since Brian overloaded him with cookies at his office this weekend. So "Cookie PEEEEEAAAASSS"!!!!! is his new favorite saying.

Treasures from my phone

2011-03-20T16:50:00.001-06:00

I've been using our video camera more lately but the videos are not successfully loading up on here so I've given up. In reality I use my phone to take pictures and videos more often so I finally decided to give up on the video camera stuff and post what I have from my phone for a little update.

This isn't much for a before and after sequence but yesterday Brian gave Quinten a hair cut, just buzzed it. It was looking rather shaggy and hanging over his ears. I liked it long on the top but we didn't really know how to do a decent haircut without just buzzing it. The picture below is after it was cut though not a great example. I'll try to get a better one. He's such a cute little guy.

Frustrated that he can't make it pedal like his
sister. Just needs to grow a little more.

The picture above and below are from adventures we've had with our friends the Rose family. Above the moms and kids went to the dinosaur museum and had a blast. I wish I had got a better picture - the kids had so much fun and Ryanna wondered if the dinosaurs were just pretending and if they were going to suddenly jump out and eat us. ha! Below the Roses invited us over for dinner at their house and Malachi and Ryanna had a little LadyNTramp style dining. Malachi isn't quite 3 and thinks Ryanna is the coolest. She enjoys playing with him too but it is so ironic because when we are at home it is Q who is obsessed with Malachi or as he says "Chi" - like Eye with a K in front. Garret, the Papa Rose, is a teacher like Brian and helped him coach the 7th grade girls basketball so they are man friends and don't grumble when we want to get all together. haahhaha.

The first weekend in March we were able to stay the night up at Red Canyon Lodge on Flaming Gorge. Our wonderful friends the Baumgartens and Kristen's parents bought us a night stay and gave it to us for Christmas. We had a great time and are so grateful to have been blessed with such thoughtful friends. We brought the kids snow gear and they played in the snow for hours. Ryanna was especially excited about playing in the snow. We drove to Manila on a little side adventure to see if it was worth seeing.......uh yeah. We had breakfast the next morning at a restaurant that is right on the way to the Flaming Gorge dam and it was SO YUMMY! If you ever travel through there and haven't stopped there you really should. Even the kids loved it and they can be super picky. YUM.

These last two pics I took while we were in Pocatello with my family in February. As you can tell no one was interested in getting their picture taken. My sporty little brother Nathan was competing in the Simplot games at Idaho State University. Quinten wasn't feeling great and that was the weekend we ended up with the flu but it was still worth it to spend even a little time with the fam. I just love that rowdy bunch!!

This final treasure was a present that Quinten gave
me on Valentine's Day. I know it is revolting, eggs and water,
but at the same time I thought it was very sweet. :)

The great snow melt!

2011-03-14T19:19:00.001-06:00

This park had an overhaul and now has these new swings
among other new fantastical playground equipment. Can you
see her joy??

While his sister likes mom to be within arms distance while she
plays, Quinten enjoyed his independence and would
usually run off when I came around.

It's been months since I could get him to smile for a camera.
His joy was just too much to contain though being at the park.

Ryanna is complimented on her killer boots all the time and this
park visit was no exception.

I'm learning that outside play is key in the soul of a little boy.

Ryanna learned about trees and nature in her church class
and informed us she just had to climb a tree. I told her I'd
help her find one at the park and this was the only one low
enough for me to boost her into.

She told me she was going to climb to the very top and
she meant it!!

Add caption

And this little gem was when I came home from the gym the
other day. When I left they were all asleep in their own
beds and by the time I came home they were all piled in
Ryanna's bed. So cute!

Our girl

2011-02-13T19:28:00.002-07:00

4 years ago Brian and I gave each other the sweetest Valentine's Day present, one that we cherish every day. We love you sweet Ryanna.

There were cupcakes....

And a bikethat she LOVES and that she is already pretty
much outgrown...that's what happens
when a bike comes in a box. :)

Tricky kid!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-02-11T18:48:00.000-07:00

The kids both love variations of spaghetti. Ryanna generally likes them without sauce and sprinkled with cheese. Quinten likes it with any kind of sauce but doesn't mind the naked variation that Ryanna prefers. When I'm feeling lazy I skip the sauce like tonight. Of course I added some nutrition by steaming some broculli and cauliflour with a little melted cheese on top. We like cheese in this house. Anyway, they will eat the veggies but aren't always crazy about it. When they ask for more noodles which they always do I say they can have a few more once the veggies are gone. I guess Quinten figured I wouldn't be too hard to trick. He asked for more noodles, or in his words "PEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSS" while pointing at his plate. I pointed out his broculli and said he needed to finish it. I came back a few minutes later and that plate was licked clean!! As I was giving him a few more noodles I noticed his plate looked a little lopsided. Yup, his plate was resting on a pile of brocculi. The little tricky stinker.....

February Already??

2011-02-09T17:52:00.000-07:00

Oh brother this weather is killing me. I'm still doing well with the Fit Challenge but my enthusiasm varies from week to week. The last I posted I was super excited about exercise and I still feel that but feel completely sabatoged by my poor children and the weather(running outside became too miserable for me last week and I was seriously bummed, should be able to get back on that soon). Both kids have been sick and just generally under the weather. Ryanna is back to herself but poor Quinten has had chronic ear infections and will be getting tubes in tomorrow. I know this is the right thing to do. We've done all the antibiotics, tried natural remedies, and homeopathic options and the kid is still miserable. I'm eager for he and I to be getting more sleep, hopefully.

Well those two kids are becoming best buddies at home. They play and run and laugh until someone is crying at which point they generally just get up and get going again. It's sweet and gives me a little room to get things done, in theory. Brian has been busy as usual with work, coaching girl's b-ball, and with radio but we've enjoyed the time we have had with him.

While she was sick :(

This video makes me smile one of those gooey mommy smiles. Just wants to be like his Dad in every way. :)

beauty of a poem and "where [our] sight fails"

2011-02-08T17:05:00.002-07:00

God Speaks

Death is ugly?

Oh, my children,

No.

If you knew

The beauty

That begins where

Your sight fails

You would run

Run, run

And leap

With open arms

Into eternity.

But sad

Is a harvest

of green wheat.

And

So you would

Feverishly

Cling to earth

And finish

Your mortal task

I merely gave

Death

An ugly mask.

-Carol Lynn Pearson

B.o. B. 'Airplanes'

2011-02-03T13:00:00.002-07:00

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now.

I always want to write about my memories in relation to music and specific songs. When possible I will attach the song via youtube.com or another way and tell a story.

Right now I am listening to 'Airplanes.' Immediately I remember last spring when I was traveling with the Uintah High School Softball team. On the way to St. George, only about a 7 hour drive, the girls had a stereo with a few home made cd's. Most of the music I hadn't heard before, but as I look back now I realize that the girls were breaking through new music that hadn't quite caught on nationwide or on the charts. 'Airplanes' was one of those. When first hearing the line "I could really use a wish right now..." I tried to remember the times in my youth when there were a few things that I wished or hoped for.

I remember once when I was 11 or 12 and I had a crush on a girl named Andrea. I can't even remember her last name... Anyway, I remember sitting outside my house on Winnetka Ln in Cincinnati begging for my wish to come true that she would like me. At the time I was thinking, 'if I get this wish, then I won't ask for anything again...' Yet today I can't even remember her last name or what she looked like.

I have been accused, properly, of living in the past. I like to reflect on the good things about the past. I forget the pains that I had, I forget the stresses that I had, I forget the sicknesses, instead I remember what was good.

While on my mission I was in an area for 9 months just north of Boston. My area included the coast of NH and we were based in the town of Exeter. The 9 months I was there were October - June, the coldest 9 months of the year there. I don't remember how cold I was, or the frustrations I had from appointments with investigators that fell through, or the drama with other missionaries, but I remember the walks that my companions and I would have around the pond near downtown Exeter, usually after dark. I remember the time I threw a rock at a duck and broke its neck (I really am not that cruel, it was just an unlucky throw), I also remember the many many times I lobbed rocks at the ducks and missed. I remember the benches along the walkway where we would sit and watch the airplanes across the sky. Being near Logan Airport in Boston, we had many international flights come in and domestic flights from all over including Portland Maine that we were able to watch across the sky. I watched those planes with many different thoughts including the realization that the next time I will be in a plane is when I am going home after this 2 year adventure. Then, I thought, life will begin. What dreams and wishes of mine will come true? The airplanes weren't my shooting stars, but instead a thought provoking streak across the sky representing my future.

My priorities have changed over the years. I went from wanting to be on top of the world to being a quiet family man that tries to get the job done with as little attention as possible. I still enjoy doing things like talking on the radio or calling a basketball game on TV, but if I could I would wear a mask or hide in a closet (like a radio studio!!). I love to have fun in the moment, but I also love to leave the excitement and thrill of radio/tv at work.

Being married to an incredible woman (my sister Stef always reminds me that I married up) who has given birth to the two most adorable children has changed my priorities. While I keep busy with many different jobs and hobbies, I look forward to seeing my daughter smile at me when seeing me walk in. I love to see my son run circles in excitement for me when I arrive home. My wife, who constantly wants to spend what little time is left for her, is always ready to forgive me for anything that I have done that day and cuddle and watch a movie.

While watching those planes across the sky, could I have imagined how much I would have changed, and how lucky I am to not have my wishes granted? My true desires took some time to find, but I am lucky enough to have every single one of them come true.

And the winner is.......

2011-01-31T14:00:00.000-07:00

Photography giveaway and pictures of the most amazing family I know

2011-01-27T14:27:00.002-07:00

Photo by Amy Jo
http://www.amyjophoto.com/

I've posted before about my dear friends the Baumgartens who are the most amazing family I know. Josh continues his battle with brain cancer and as a family unit they continue to meet each challenge with faith and grace. I've shared the link http://www.dadnamedjosh.blogspot.com/ before and Kristen continues to update with their progress.

Kristen's friend Amy Jo is a professional photographer and I love the work I've seen that she has done for Kristen. Visit her blog http://www.amyjophoto.com/ and sign up for her huge giveaway and scroll down to see the gorgeous photos from her session with the Baumgarten family. Brian got home while I was looking at them and I was crying they are just so precious and beautiful!! Amy Jo lives in Houston but she does traveling sessions too - so far in 2011 she has plans for Utah, Montana and the Baltimore/DC area. This covers pretty much everyone I know. Go sign up. :) I hope I win!!

I guess those people aren't crazy!

2011-01-25T13:08:00.001-07:00

So it's no secret I've been a lazy lady since Quinten was born. Previous to having him, my besties and I were working out on a regular basis even through most of my pregnancy. If I'm being honest these workouts were usually half efforts by me and more important to me as some social time with my girlfriends. Well the year after I had Quinten I lost all the baby weight and then some because of my gallbladder troubles and my determination to avoid surgery. Losing weight because you are afraid to eat is not synonomous with being healthy. So as you might guess as soon as I was forced to have the gallbladder surgery and my pain all went away I overcompensated by trying to eat enough to make up for the last 8 months of deprivation. Yup. That's not a joke. In fact, I ate enough chocolate and sweets, especially brownies to last a lifetime. So no shocker when I gained somewhere around 25 pounds in 2010. Good times, good times. Well even less shocking was how tired and BLAH I felt. I worked out occasionally...very occasionally. Well in December I saw on facebook a friend who was doing a "Get Fit Challenge" - she happens to be a marathon runner and my first thought was how much I wished I had the will power to do something like that(the fit challenge not the marathon!). I like to make excuses for myself and didn't actually think I would do it. Then I started to think how much I look like a sausage in my clothes and how much I wanted a family picture where I didn't look like a sausage. The awful free family picture we had done earlier that month was part awful cause Q was screaming, part awful cause the backdrop was a cheesefest, and part awful cause I looked like Java the Hut. That was about the time I asked my girlfriends Sha and Kristen if they wanted to do the Fit Challenge with me. We slowly convinced each other we could do it and it was settled.

It started January 3rd and works like this. There are 4 teams with 9 or 10 members on each team. Six out of seven days a week you can individually earn points by working out, drinking at least 48 oz of water, eating at least 5 fruits/veggies, no sweets, no eating after 9pm, and making contact with a team member. At the end of the week you get additional points for any pounds lost. At the end of each month you get additional points for any inches lost around waist and hips. The first week of workouts and diet change were a drastic change in lifestyle for me but I was determined to max out my possible points and was rewarded by losing some poundage which I lovingly refer to as my goo. Week 2 and 3 same story. That really isn't the part I'm most excited about or even all that excited about though it is satisfying to see some results after working hard. In a nutshell I've stuck with it and am loving it.

Now to the point of this blog post.

A man who appears to love exercise;
whose mullet makes him
stylish as well as crazy

I always have thought that people who workout for the love of it are either liers or a little screwy in the head, note the image above. There have been times in my life when I've worked out somewhat consistently but usually as a result of life circumstance or along with a desire to lose weight or just rise to a challenge; never about long term health and personal daily energy. Well I am shocked to find that after 3 weeks of working out 6 days a week the little connections in my brain are beginning to rewire. Dare I say I'm beginning to enjoy myself and look forward to the sweat and burn.... All I'm willing to admit right now is that I guess those workout loving folks aren't all that crazy after all! I mean that within reason of course, my brain still lumps marathon runners in that catagory of nuts. Even though I admire you girls and look up to you I still think you're crazy!! Now I am a hyper aware that as quickly as my attitude has changed it could certainly unchange in a few short days of laziness. I know for sure I'm committed to this 12 week get fit challenge but I need to be realistic and ask myself how I'm going to prepare for life after the challenge when it's just up to me to do it without points and a team. It's easy right now to say I'll keep it up because I am loving it but I have a feeling that's a little naive. Nothing worthwhile comes easy!! Any suggestions from my vast crowd of readers?? (Crickets chirping....)

How do you get kids to eat veggies??

2011-01-19T16:18:00.001-07:00

I opted for the shorter video that did not include me being a giant eating trees accompanied with frightening giantlike roars. I've found if I pretend I am a giant eating a tree or anything any food might resemble in the name of being a giant then Ryanna will follow me and eat it too. So far that is all that works. I like how Ryanna says the tree tastes like there is a chicken in it, in her giant voice of course. hehe.

TA DA!

2011-01-12T20:18:00.000-07:00

"What? They accentuate my calves...."

STEP IN TIME!!!

2011-01-12T20:11:00.000-07:00

How many times do I have to say we LOVE Mary Poppins!!! Tonight I put good ol' MP on in my bedroom while I set out to clear out old clothes. I would be embarrassed by my room but you can see the giant black garbage sack full of clothes back by the stairs that are heading to DI. Proof of my efforts! Anyhoo, both kids LOVE LOVE LOVE dancing while watching Mary Poppins. Are they America's next best dance duo?? I'll let you be the judge. :)

"It's kind of crazy how that elf got up there..."

2011-01-10T15:39:00.002-07:00

So one of Brian's sweet coworkers gave us an elf to put up around our house during the holiday season. The idea is that the elf has been sent by Santa to check on the kids and see if they are being nice or naughty. I put the elf up above our cupboards and Ryanna noticed it right away. I gave her a simple explanation and she was content and excited to show the elf how good she was. I would move the elf to different spots above the cupboard but Ryanna wasn't overly interested in how the elf got there or any of the details of the situation. Indeed it was enough for her that Santa had sent an elf to watch her and that was that. Well, Kenna and Kate came over one day and Ryanna was excited to show Kenna the elf watching over her. Kenna is a little thinker and had to understand every detail of the situation. An hour and several videos later she decided Shelly must have climbed onto our garbage can outside, opened the latch on the door, all with the elf riding on her back. It's like you can see the wheels turning in her head as she tries to figure out how that darn elf got up there. In her words "It's kind of crazy how that elf got up there!" I love those Nielson kids!

Ever just felt like belting out in song?

2011-01-10T14:44:00.001-07:00

Ryanna was so excited about Christmas that the entire month of December Ryanna would spontaneously burst into song. This song was her favorite. Enjoy :)

If you want something to eat you just better get it yourself

2011-01-10T14:25:00.001-07:00

Quinten apparantly needed a snack because I found him on the table by the fruit bowl and he had eaten about half of an unpeeled mandarin orange. I guess if you want something to eat in this house you just better find it yourself. :)

Christmas in Mesquite

2011-01-07T16:20:00.001-07:00

We enjoyed our time with Lloyd and Barbara and the kids and I were able to see Arlene for a bit before Christmas to exchange presents though we wished we'd had more time with her. I didn't get a decent video of the kids opening the presents from Grandma Baldwin or Grandpa Baldwin and Grandma Barbara. Arlene got the kids some beautiful church books full of art and cute photography. We've been reading them every night before bed. Thank you Arlene!! Lloyd and Barbara got the kids the Dr. Suess books "There's a Wocket in my Pocket" and "Thidwick the Big Hearted Moose" and the accompaning stuffed animals. These two have become household favorites so thank you Lloyd and Barbara!!

We weren't able to see any of my side of the family for Christmas but rather than have them mail any gifts they sent them with our friends from Three Forks who have a home in Mesquite and spend their holidays there. So it was so fun to see the Rochfords for a few minutes in Mesquite while we were vacationing and it was also fun to have Christmas continue for the kids. Ryanna thought Christmas must be every other day when there were more presents to open in Mesquite. Well this video is in Mesquite and we want to say THANK YOU Grandma and Grandpa Scoffield(Mom and Dad)!! Love you guys so much and can't wait to see you soon.

How Ryanna and Quinten spent all Christmas day

2011-01-07T15:29:00.000-07:00

Santa brought them Thomas trains and they were in heaven. Hey, whatever makes them happy!

Christmas Morning

2011-01-07T15:05:00.000-07:00

I figured Ryanna wouldn't put too much together seeing the wrapped presents in the car on our trip and then having some of them be from Santa. Listen for her explanation for this issue. :)

Pre-Christmas Christmas gift from Daddy to the kids

2011-01-07T14:16:00.001-07:00

As I talked to my mom on the phone last night she said she needs a Grandma fix. Since I figured out how to download stuff from my phone onto here I figure I better give her what she needs. :) Enjoy!

I like when she tells Brian "good job daddy!" Brian is thrilled she already loves basketball. :)

Blog Slacker

2011-01-06T16:49:00.002-07:00

Our favorite part and main reason for having a blog is to share lots of pictures, stories, and videos of our kids. Lately, this hasn't been happening mostly because I haven't been keeping the camera on me like I should. I take more pics with my phone though so I included a few of those here. Though my goal is to do more blogging about the kids and what we're up to, today is not really the day I'll be catching up. Instead I just pasted my entry from the Baldwin family newsletter that covers the basics of our last month. This blog slacker will do better!!!

December was a wonderful month. Everything was a magical experience for the kids, especially Ryanna. The snow, lights on houses, Christmas preschool activities, and especially the time reading and talking about the season of giving in our own home made everyday a happy one for her. She was so excited to head to California for Christmas and asked everyday if it was time to leave. She worked extra hard to make special cards for her friends, neighbors, grandparents, and primary teachers. For some of them she practiced drawing the nativity and spent hours and hours drawing the nativity on every scap of paper in our home. She learned to write Merry Christmas on her own and usually without mistake and that too was drawn all over the house. Quinten enjoyed "decorating" the tree which meant pulling off every ornament he could reach and putting them in his truck to drive around. Sometimes he'd even try to hang them back up. He especially enjoyed driving his cars around the Christmas village and nativity. I know I should have put them up higher but they are all cheap and I decided to let the kids enjoy them instead of protect them too much. A few villagers were beheaded but no real harm done and he enjoyed pointing at baby Jesus. December was a BIG BIG month for Brian. He started working part time for the other radio station in town. It has a country music station and conservative talk/sports AM station. We feel very grateful for this part time job and its flexibility with Brian's schedule. The other BIG accomplishment is Brian finished his Masters program. So he now has a Masters in Special Education. He just told me yesterday he missed the deadline to walk in February but I am going to just make him do it the next available time. I feel it is worth recognizing and he refused to walk for his Bachelors so it will be worth doing. As far as myself I've had a few changes this month as well the most noteworthy being a new calling into the primary as chorister. I had been teaching Gospel Principles in Relief Society which I loved and learned so much from but I know I'm supposed to be in Primary at this time. Today was Ryanna's first Sunday as a sunbeam and she did great! I was worried.....really worried. But I think it helped that I was in there too. Quinten has been doing well in nursery though he struggled today since we changed from 1:00 church last Sunday to 9:00am church today. I know that overall this will be a much better time for our family but he is just adjusting. Well, we had a WONDERFUL vacation spending Christmas at Lloyd and Barbara's home and then spending a few days in Mesquite. We were worried how things would go when within the first 5 minutes of our arrival in Menifee Quinten had broke 2 Christmas decorations and knocked over a little table with some Crystal on it(that didn't break thankfully). Fortunately he was so enthralled with his Christmas presents that he didn't cause much damage to their beautiful home. Ryanna felt right at home and remembered Christmas last year. First thing we did is go visit the kitties. She also got to swim with daddy in the hot tub which she's talked about ever since we were there last year. She was so excited to give them the little kitten figurine she had picked out to give them for Christmas and really warmed up to Lloyd this year. She learned quickly that Grandpa knew how to fix her trains and would run to him whenever they had a problem. Barbara of course went above and beyond to fatten us up. I tried to slow her down but I'm not sure anyone has that ability. We enjoyed every minute spent at their home though it went very quick. We arrived Friday afternoon and left for Mesquite early Sunday afternoon. The entire drive to Mesquite the kids played with their stuffed animals from Lloyd and Barbara. Since we've been home we've read the Dr. Suess books that go with them about a dozen times. They love them. In fact, those two books plus the darling LDS books from Grandma Baldwin have been all Ryanna wants me to read, which says a lot. Thank you Grandparents!! Well I'm running out of time but I also have to say we had a great time in Mesquite. The times we can get together and just hang out seem to be the most memorable of all. Ryanna loved every minute with her cousins which we are grateful for.

Bri said Quinten was actually a lot of help by
putting the screws in the holes for him.
Cute little helper!

With Bri's new schedule dad time is usually right
at bedtime. 30 minutes of focused dad time makes
for the best time of their day!

LOVES LOVES LOVES the snow!

They both got Thomas trains from Santa and
they LOVED them.

What is Real?

2010-12-22T22:56:00.006-07:00

There are no words for this feeling in my heart. I want to try though because it is a feeling I'd wish for every person I've ever known and even those I haven't.

There has been a reassurance in my heart of what is real and I've had moments in the last few days that, though simple, I hope never to forget.

Ever since Ryanna drew her first depiction of the nativity(above) there have been little stick figure nativities drawn on every scrap paper in our house. I picked up a half dozen pages with these little sketches, sometimes 4 or 5 to a page, off of Ryanna's floor today and paused enough to let Him, the little baby, into my heart. The king of kings came to earth as a baby to a virgin mother... Far off leaders of other lands, or wise men, follow a star that brings them to the Christ child... Humble shepherds saw angels and were part of that silent night... Who could possibly believe such a story? Many minds believe it cannot be so. That these things are not real. The feeling I felt in that moment however was so much more real than the scraps of paper in my hand. I felt my heart burn in a way I can only describe as an authentic confirmation of truth in my soul, that it all really happened.

I have a favorite Christmas show(The Forgotten Carols) with a character named John who identifies the perspective of disbelief in his nurse Connie Lou. She says she cannot believe the Christmas story though she wishes she could. He tells her that that is a great Christmas wish which she says isn't what she meant. He then tells her something that helps illustrate the feeling I'm trying to explain. He says he knows that isn't what she meant with her head "...but that's the thing about hearts, it doesn't care so much if it makes sense. The Christmas story...who could possibly believe it if there wasn't something in our hearts that said YES! It Is True!"

All the time lately I'm aware of the dichotomy of this life. In this very moment for example I'm feeling hungry and beginning to feel ready for bed; very real feelings for this physical being named Kristin. In fact, physical feelings are often the victor of the constant battle for my attention. Also awake at this very moment is what makes me more than a hungry, tired woman; awake is my spirit that resides in this physical body. That spirit is the heart of who I truly am and have been for much longer than 27 1/2 years. It is spiritually that I feel the soothing peace of communication though writing this. It is spiritually that my mind continues an inner dialogue of life, mankind, faith, and Christ's place in each. It is spiritually that I'm reflecting on what is real to me and why I care so much to identify it. I know in my heart that the baby who was born in Bethleham matters. I know that He is the Son of God. I know that He loves each and every one of us.

I am a physical person all of the time,
who slows down enough some of the time,
to remember I am a spiritual being first.

Maybe that only makes sense to me but that is what is real even if I can't explain it. I'm so grateful to feel these spiritual witnesses of Christ this Christmas season. It's made me feel like I'm celebrating Christmas for the first time. I have countless blessings, supportive friends, and loving family. My prayer is that we can all open our hearts to the immeasureable love of God and remember the blessings that came from a baby born on that silent night long ago.

Merry Christmas!
Happy Christmukkah! (Especially to my favorite Missoulans)
Love you all!

7 Years and blessed in Love!

2010-12-18T22:41:00.001-07:00

Exactly 7 years ago I couldn't sleep. I was staying at Aunt Jane's house who only lived a few minutes from the Salt Lake Temple where I would be married the next day. My sweet little sister who was only about Ryanna's age at the time (4ish) was asleep in the sleeping bag next to me and I lay awake next to the fireplace. There was a churning feeling in my stomach and I wasn't sure I'd be able to sleep. I just listened to Kayla breathing, watched the fire, and just lay there smiling. Really, I couldn't wipe that silly grin off my face. I'd only met Brian less than 5 months previous to that moment, obviously we'd had a ridiculously quick engagement, and here I was the night before our wedding. We pretty much spent every possible moment together since we'd met in August and not all of them were great. We might have had one or two moments that were red flag moments - "Hello! You're still young selfish kids with little business getting married." It's possible many or most of couples have those and still run to the alter, especially in LDS culture. What we had going for us though was (and still is) commitment. Not in a contract sign on the dotted line kind of way. More like no matter how bonkers you may or may not drive me I still know I NEVER want to be without you. That and some reassuring prayer experiences sent me to the alter as giddy as you'd ever see a bride. I loved every minute of our wedding day and had more than one person comment on that smile I just couldn't wipe off or in other words what in the world has come over Kristin!?!?!?! Wasn't she the resident man hater????

The last 7 years has had high highs, painful lows, mundane in betweens, long laughs, and in every variation. I've learned about pride(both forgiving it and letting my own go). I've learned about respect, how like most virtues must be given before it's ever expected in return. I've learned about sports....literally every sport.....and somehow learned to enjoy it(overall). I guess that naturally leads to how I've learned about change; my own maturing, transforming, and evolution into a still learning and loving wife. Mostly with change I've learned I'm an idiot for thinking it was my job or privilege to "change" my partner. Hello! This is the man I chose and he's a package deal! The beauty of accepting your partner as they are is they usually follow in suit and embrace your package deal full of wonder and including faults, annoying habits, adult zits, glorious stretchmarks, etc. Now THAT is liberating!!!

It doesn't bother me to admit freely that we've had and still have struggles. Those first couple years I know we shared more than one rough stretch and there were times we both wondered how two people who are so different could really make one life together work. What is really amazing is that for each mountain, big or small, that we climbed together the scales tipped more in our favor. Each battle won has strengthened our union. We're still distinct individuals yet we are also just as distinctly a WE. That must be what happens when you give a marriage the time and commitment to mature. I am fiercely proud of the relationship Brian and I share, how we have grown up together, and that we continue to face the future together absolutely committed.

This tribute wouldn't be complete without mentioning our little offspring. I keep bringing up the commitment factor for some reason but here it comes to mind again. I said we started off with commitment on our side and I think it is worth sharing that whatever quantity of commitment I thought we shared on our wedding day is nothing compared to what it became the day we became parents. I love how we are learning about parenting together. Having children together and sharing in parenting has the potential to solder the bond between a man and woman becoming mother and father together. The last 7 years have been a blessing and quite a ride.

7 years is only a scratch on the surface of the story of Brian and I. I can't wait to live the rest of it and with the guy I NEVER want to live without. Love you Bri!!

I can't let sports get me down. Living a new rush.

2010-12-09T08:37:00.000-07:00

(I acutally wrote these first paragraphs a couple months ago, but didn't publish it)

As much as I relied on sports as a young kid I find myself getting annoyed by sports as and adult. I'm not only thinking about my Bengals who lost a 7 point lead with 2 minutes left today, and lost by a field goal... or the Reds who got no-hit last week for the first time that I can remember... double worst it has to be in the playoffs!!! But I'm thinking about what good sports does anymore. I played and watched sports out of loneliness and a need to do something. I enjoyed sports because of the thrill I would get out of competing and having a war in the paint, or on the mound, or in the trenches.

Today the focus on sports is stats and championships. Where is the enjoyment? Do these pro-athletes even enjoy the games they play anymore? If they are out of a playoff race, are they playing to have fun or their next contract?

I fell in love with the Bengals when they went to Superbowl XXIII in the first year I watched them. I fell in love with the Reds when they won the 1990 world series. And then when I moved to Utah from Cincinnati, I fell in love with watching Stockton to Malone. With all of my favorite teams combined I have one championship and three small market teams that are always looking in from the outside. The Reds, Bengals and Jazz all made the playoffs in 2010 but I honestly could hardly watch an entire game for any of them. The Reds go no-hit last Wednesday... the Bengals laid an egg (mostly their kicker) against the Jets... the Jazz always have to play the Lakers. So you can say the first problem is that my teams just aren't good enough... the second problem is, they probably won't ever be.

For pro sports, the focus is on winning and how much money it takes to win. For my teams, who don't have the money that the Yankees have, It is always "tough luck."

(Back to today)

I guess I can't complain about my Jazz. Last night they lost to LeBron, but so far this year the Jazz are still atop their division and are an exciting team to watch. The Bengals... well, losing 9 in a row sucks.

Last night, I made my debut as a basketball coach. Coaching 7th grade (four 6th graders too) is quite the adventure. These are not boys, I am coaching girls. Most of the girls haven't played much but there are those who live, eat and breath sports. My job is to teach fundamentals and to make sure they are enjoying their time. My philosophy on coaching is to show endless confidence in my players and get the most out of them. In football this year, while playing teams that were much better than we were, I failed. My offense scored just 6 points in the final 5 games. In basketball... well, the jury will be out for a while on this one.

Last night was a new rush for me. I can't play anything but church ball anymore, so its time to live my cometativness through those I coach and parent. I will try hard to not be one of 'those dads,' I promise.

Anyway, last night the Lady Utes were a little intimidated by the other teams size. The Pirates from Mount Harmon came into the gym very disciplined, hooting and shouting their cadence as they stretched and warmed up. My girls were shooting, laying up, and rebounding while having a good time. They were excited, and nervous much like me. My girls would say, "why are those girls all so big?" I replied, "must be something in the water, they are from down by where Shawn Bradley grew up..."

I am proud of the Ute girls. In a game with just 6 minute quarters, you can't get behind early. After the Pirates scored the first two, my girls found it in them in the second quarter to take a commanding 9-6 lead at half time. IN the 3rd quarter the Lady Utes didn't score but 2 points and found themselves down 14-11. The score would stay the same with a little over 3 minutes left in the game when we hit a free throw. 14-12. A few trips down the court later we kept the momentum and hit the tying shot, 14-14. Immediately the balloon seemed to deflate as the Pirates came down with less than a minute left and took the lead 16-14. Without panic, the Lady Utes went down and got a rebound off of a close shot and put it back in for a 16-16 tie. In the matter of 30 seconds both teams put the ball in the basket more than in the previous 9 minutes of play! Now, just 44 seconds remained and the Pirates had the ball. With a missed shot, the Utes got the rebound and pushed the ball down court and got the foul while driving in. I called a time out and told the Utes, "we just need one of these free throws and 22 seconds of defense.."

The first free throw bounced around and went down.

The second, missed. The Pirates got the ball and went down with a desperation shot and the Utes won. 17-16.

What I loved about yesterday was the intensity of those proud parents and the fact that the Utes never backed down. No matter how big the girls were, the Utes never thought the game was lost. Coaching is fun, perhaps a replacement for sitting on the coach and watching my professional teams continuously let me down.

Already loving Christmas!!

2010-12-02T20:22:00.003-07:00

Standing on a present and ready to JUMP!

Singing and Dancing to Bing Crosby's White Christmas.

Last night the kids got to open their jammies. Then when they
were all jammied up we read our Christmas books.

Ryanna helped me set up the Christmas village
and Nativity. Now if only we could save them
from Mister Mischief. So far there are
two beheaded villagers....

In their new jams

Not Christmas but this is what Q
likes to do at some point during the day

the family picture that wasn't

2010-12-01T23:16:00.000-07:00

Are you like me and get psyched up occasionally over things that are too good to be true? Well "free" family pictures as a holiday gift at our insurance company were most definitely too good to be true. First of all the photographer was a cheeseball. The backdrop was a cheesefest. And he managed to get all of 2 poses for me to choose from one of which has a basketball in it because Quinten wasn't happy until he was holding it. Now it's not the photographer's fault that Quinten was having a hard time but my theory is keep that camera flashing instead of waiting for that perfect shot. Give me some variety and we are bound to find one where we're all at least LOOKING at the camera. I think we were doomed the moment I said "we just want to do the family shot. Thanks!" In other words, we just want to do the free picture so don't bother trying to get us anything decent because obviously you are being held against your will and we aren't worth your time. Oh and by the way I'm honestly ticked because I looked like an ogre in both pictures but what do you do! And they gave my kids off brand Mountain Dew thinking it was Sprite.

Wow. I didn't realize I was so worked up about this. Deep breath.

I tried several times today to get the kids dressed up in their new cute outfits to get some pictures of them together and separate. Do you want to guess how that went?? Well actually Ryanna was totally being a ham and I got lots of cute ones of her but Q was generally unwilling to comply. If I can't make something work then I'll have to beg a friend to try for me and I know just the one to pick on. :) Poor Sha. Being my friend is sometimes like having an extra kid! As long as I'm being a baby about all this maybe I'll beg you to take a family pic for us one of these days too...........

Well now that I got that off my chest I'll share a couple of the funny pics from today's photo marathon.

And this is 6 hours before the Mountain Dew!

yaaaa....good luck!

awwww....first mug shot ;)

These boots were made for dancing!

I'll just slip this ornament topper in when noone is looking....

The problem with the world is that we draw the circle of our family too small. ~Mother Teresa

2010-11-29T22:32:00.002-07:00

(*NOTE* Here's the link to the book/study about religion in America that I haven't read yet but have read about and got me going on this train of thought. http://americangrace.org/ And here is the link about just some of what the book had to say about Mormons in American Culture http://beta-newsroom.lds.org/article/major-new-study-of-religion-has-much-to-say-about-mormons )

I could probably write half a dozen separate posts right now but I think I'll just see what I can get down in one. I think it starts with my faith as a Mormon and more specifically my devotion to Jesus Christ.

Sometime last summer I had one of my brain clouds - I get a feeling to learn more about something and feel compelled to collaborate and learn from/with others. I call it a "brain cloud" because it just kind of slowly moves in like a fog and stays around until I either do something about it or ignore it long enough it fades into the background. Well this particular brain cloud had to do with religion.

How do different faiths interact? How do the individuals generally view one another? What perceptions do we have of each other? Which of these are based in truth or misconception? What common ground do we share? What kind of neighbors do we make? And then more personally, what is it about the Mormon faith that makes others so uncomfortable? How do I open the door to discussion?

Last summer I had the great opportunity to spend time with some best friends(you know who you are!) in Montana who are of a variety of faiths. I was somewhat surprised when one friend hesitantly(and respectfully I'll add) asked if it was okay to ask me a question about being Mormon. I indicated I was an open book to any of their questions or comments no matter how controversial they may seem. So the big question was what did I think about the South Park episode about Mormons?? Okay, it was a funny moment. First of all I hadn't seen it but regardless of what was in the show I told them it didn't really bother me. And honestly it doesn't. I mean I suppose it was full of UNtruths and DISrespectful jokes but that really has nothing to do with a religion.

Here's an example: For hundreds of years in literature, media, and television, Judaism has been MISrepresented, MISjudged, and DISrespected. But where has most Christians(and others) received their information to form opinions on Judaism in general and in America? From the MIS- or DIS- sources(I'm referring to books, media, TV, etc MISinforming and DISrespecting). Not usually from a direct source...you know like an actual person who practices Judaism. What a concept!

So I've asked myself. What would a "direct source" about a religion or faith look like? What about an entire community of individuals who can turn to a real person and find out what that actual person believes, what faith they follow, and how that faith lives and breathes for them? I don't really mean in a missionary/spread the word type of way. Rather I mean as an informative, respect driven forum? Obviously technology makes this concept exceptionally easy even for the less tech savvy of folks. But still I hesitate because it just seems a little too good to be true. Easiser said than done.

Religion is a lot like politics and its discussion can turn your average person into a bubbling brew of passionate lecture, spewing out vague phrases like "burn in hell" - what does anyone really mean by that anyway?? I mean does anyone out there actually believe in a little red devil with horns and a spiked tail? And likewise an uncompassionate God who simply sends masses to "burn" for not being born at the "right" time or within the "right" culture? I don't know. I guess maybe there are some who do but my gut tells me that MOST people are sincere and sophisticated in their faith. They choose to live the way that they do based on real feelings of what they see as right and wrong.

I believe MOST people feel brotherhood and compassion for the people in their community and in the world. And yet I also believe that MOST people are uneducated or misinformed(comfortably in some cases) about the core doctrines of any other faith than their own. Is there something to be feared there? In understanding what another group of people believe?

I can understand that what I'm referring to is no small task. There are probably professors of world religions who dedicate their lives to simply learning about the many faiths in this world and only scratch the surface. So is that what I'm suggesting...if so that is simply not reasonable. But what about opening or offering ourselves to those around us? Asking our friends and neighbors what they believe and with only one motive; of knowing them better. Isn't that the heart of real friendship? Sincerity. Feeling safe enough to share what makes us real and vulnerable. And religion is like that to most people. It's not a joke or a game. It's not a club or an obsession. It is where our heart feels truth - sometimes like a comforting whisper and other times like a fire burning.

That is what my faith as a Mormon is for me. It is where my heart feels truth. Like the ringing of a bell in my soul; I am a child of God. I have a purpose on this earth.

So that is where I'm coming from and a little introduction to where I think I'm going. So to all my friends of all faiths(yes, that means you!) what would an open forum of religion look like to you? Would you share what you know about your faith(Doctrines, culture, etc) and what it means to you? And any parting words of wisdom (like "hey you're a nutjob and should shut your trap")?

I'm looking for some more "open book" people out there...Is that you????? Regardless this should be interesting and I'm looking forward to it.

"If we are to have the best Christmas ever, we must reach out for the carpenter's hand."

2010-11-29T19:53:00.000-07:00

Silent Night, Holy Night, All is Calm, All is Bright...

2010-11-19T13:36:00.001-07:00

How do I put this..... It's been a rough patch for me. Not in any of the truly serious ways but in the simple things. I actually am finding it nearly impossible to put the feelings to words. Well here is an illustration. I cried yesterday. I hauled both kids(crying hysterically) up to my bed, laid one on one side and one on the other side of me and then carefully let go. Literally. 15 minutes previous everything had been just fine and then Ryanna bit Quinten and I planned where I could go cry. Crying for me is never spontanious or often. It is usually a very conscious choice for me. One that I can logic myself into scheduling for the right time and place. So now that I was on my bed with each child clinging to my shirt I took a deep breath and let it happen. Tears for all my fears. I'd be a complete lier if I didn't say I have fears, and quite a few of them. The one though that keeps coming up is that I'm not a good enough mother for Ryanna. I actually have the fat ego to admit I think I'm a good mom. I know I love my kids.

I tend to be level headed in the way I react to the different things they throw at me. I try to make sure they eat healthy, get enough exercise, and read plenty of books. They are kissed, hugged, and encouraged daily by two present parents. In all I feel like it should be enough but the fear is that it just isn't. Ryanna is smart. She is sensative and kind. She wants to make good choices and be a good friend. I'm so proud she is my little girl. The other side of it though is that she can explode. She can hurt(as Quinten learned yesterday and has the bite marks to prove it). She already has an unalterable opinion about nearly everything and only changes her mind on her own terms. She is anxious when seperated from me. In short she is I believe socially and emotionally immature for her age and I am afraid she needs a mom who is a "specialist" or some other version of highly qualified. To be clear I do not believe Ryanna is one of a kind nor do I believe she will in any way fail to live a full and accomplished life. The fear is more centered in my belief that all her combustable energy and potential simply needs the right careful directing in order to meet that happy/satisfied/successful end AND (here is the key) I am not sure exactly how to do the directing part. I'll keep doing my best but what if my best just isn't enough. To fail this beautiful girl is the greatest tragedy I can imagine. So what is "enough" and how can I deliver it? I honestly don't know. I do know that I'll keep giving all that I have, all the while praying that God will make up the difference.

I wonder if this is at all like the way God feels about me or you. Having such clarity of all we are capable of, all we are infinitely worth. But having to let us start from infancy and grow. Grow into that divine person he already knows we are but of which we are completely underestimating. Letting us go knowing we have weaknesses, fears, pain, or loneliness but ensuring a way to find peace, love and guidence all along the way. I know His guidance has made all the difference in my life and I guess I've finally come to the only thing I find comfort in as I worry about my own precious girl. It really won't come down to me as her mother. She was His girl first and I have to believe that somehow his desire for her success and happiness is even greater than mine.

I guess I have to make a correction. I am capable of spontanious tears and the gratitude I feel right now is the balm that I needed.

Ryanna's picture of the night baby Jesus was born. I especially
like Mary and the angel's hair that she says makes them pretty.

Natural Comedians

2010-11-06T09:22:00.000-06:00

My kids are natual comedians. They get me laughing every day especially when they're not trying to. Quinten's constant stream of jibberish is starting to sound like real phrases and attempts at communication.Out of these phrases my favorite, however, is "Got Poop!" He points at his diaper and declares in a sure voice "Mom, Got Poop." I check his pants and find a dry diaper but within 20 minutes or so sure enough he has "GOT POOP!" I tried to use this information to see if he might feel big if I sat him on the toilet but he didn't like that at all. He just wants to give me a heads up that poop is on its way. I'm thinking this could come in handy as well as being hilarious.

Perfect Pumpkin and our Curious Cat!

2010-10-31T10:32:00.000-06:00

Halloween....what a WEIRD holiday. It is loads of fun when you have little kids to dress up but could there be a worse time for sugar loading?? Right at the onset of cold and flu season!?!? My kids really don't have candy very often so the effect was obvious with Quinten getting up a few times in the night with what I guess was a tummy ache even though he only had 2 or 3 pieces of candy. Still we had a great time and especially loved having Brian with us for the first time. He usually worked the Halloween events for the radio station. The kids had a really great time and we are enjoying these ages and stages of their life.

My talented friend Mindy took pics of the kids. Here is a
little preview. Can't wait to see the rest!!!

We went to the Mayor's Walk at the Rec
Center. When Ryanna realized everyone
would give her candy, she decided she
wasn't shy afterall!

Ryanna wouldn't hold still for the whiskers
as I'm sure you can tell. She was still the
cutest curious Kitty of the night!

Q got lots of suckers - his FAVORITE!

Once he had that sucker he didn't care about
the other candy booths.

We had SO much fun at the Mayor's Walk
and then at our ward Trunk or Treat. Now
to just get rid of all this candy without
ME eating it!!!

Why can't I keep my kitchen clean?!?! Oh yeah....

2010-10-18T13:58:00.000-06:00

How to eat an apple:
Step 1 - Dip in nearest container. For this demonstration
I'll be using this glass of orange julius.

Step 2: Raise proudly and let the excess juice run off onto
the table, floor, chair. For advanced learners
try getting some juice on the surrounding walls.

Step 3: Partake.

Finally and most importantly: Offer mom your sweetest smile to
avoid any consequence or an end to the fun.

What do you do with your noodles?

Next time try practicing your letters!

Dad's on Fall Break... PARTY TIME!

2010-10-16T19:32:00.002-06:00

Approaching the runway...

I can FLY!

Daddy Launch Pad

Train in hand, out for a stroll and...

I'm walking on air!

Adventure to Steinaker to "go fishing"

Found her fishing pole!
(we bought some string to tie on the end)

Q LOVED riding his bike along the bridge
It wraps around what used to be the
water's edge.

She does exists!

2010-10-10T19:16:00.001-06:00

I've had a few remarks that I'm never in any pictures and that is for one obvious reason - I'm the one taking the pictures. I was thinking how cute Bri's pictures with the kids are from yesterday and decided I better make a pic with Mommy happen!

Shelly really wasn't invited to be in this picture but
found a seat right in the middle of us.

Today was Q's first day in nursery and he did great.
These two kids hold my heart!

Thought I'd throw this in as an accurate representation of
how our everyday life is like. :)

"Hey Ryanna, what month is it?" - "FALL!"

2010-10-09T21:50:00.001-06:00

We were in Walmart this afternoon and Ryanna saw the pumpkins. She immediately started talking about last year how we had a pumpkin and made a face in it. I asked her if we should do that again and she got so excited saying, "Can we mom? That will be so fun!" So she picked one out and we headed home to do this...

Sooooo WE CARVED A PUMPKIN TONIGHT!
Ryanna came running down with her scooper from
last year all ready to go. I had no idea she still had it
or remembered what it was for.

Q loves rocks(especially sucking on them) and he came up
with the plan to fill the jack-o-lantern with rocks and Ryanna
was immediately on board. They served as a great base for
the candle.

If you're not afraid for the safety of the pumpkin you should
be....Quinten is also known as BAM BAM!

Can you tell how much these two adore each other?

Note Q's killer boots. They are a size too big but Quinten
practically hyperventilates when you put them on him.
Makes him feel tough and manly!

I love capturing these moments!

Add pumpkins to the list of weird things Shelly loves.
Other items on this list include spiders and carrots...

Game on Amy!

2010-10-08T15:03:00.005-06:00

I have a great family. Both sides. I grew up in the same speck on the map town with my dad's side; Grandma and Grandpa down the road, cousins invading each others homes torturing the younger more defenseless ones(me for example). I love all my cousins and yes, I have a lot of them!

I want to tell you about one that is very important to me right now. My Amy. I like to call her that and started it the summer before I met Brian(and I dropped off the face of the earth for a while). To sum it up she is special to me. Why? Well for one thing she let me sit on the bus with her and look through the pictures in her wallet. I was in 1st or 2nd grade and she was in jr. high or high school I think(to me she was all grown up and cool beyond description). Our time together was hit and miss while I was growing up. I remember her living with Grandma and Grandpa which was awsome because then I could go and look at all her grown up doodads hanging on the wall. She had this one board that was covered in quotes and again I knew she was the coolest most grown up person on the planet. Plus, she had gorgeous poofy hair that was a dream. Then she moved to Maine to become a nanny and her coolness level skyrocketed. We weren't pen pals or anything but Grandma would keep me up to date and I think we wrote one or two letters during those years she lived away. Then the time came when I would come home for the summers between semesters at BYU. This was when she and I really grew close because we are both opinionated loud mouths who truly get a kick out of ourselves. Put us together and we're an unstoppable force of self hilarity.

I love this picture for 2 main reasons.
#1. Amy and I look like such cheeseball goobers
#2. Grumpy is clearly trying to get away and we are
holding him hostage!!

Probably our favorite thing to do together(when we weren't solving world crisis issues) was tease Grandpa. And when he wasn't around we loved to talk about teasing Grandpa, the things he said, songs he sang, and his one-of-a-kind insults that you always knew were his way of saying he loves ya. Well, at this time we united in calling him "Grumpy." Don't start calling us disrespectful either because this is the man who on many occasions sang us the Mrs. 5 x 5 song. Never heard of it? Well here's how it goes:

Mrs. five by five.
She's five feet tall and she's five feet wide.
She don't measure no more from head to toe,
As she does from side to side.

Obviously he's the only person who could get away with this so don't try, unless getting your eyes clawed out sounds fun to you. ;) We often told each other that we were Grandpa's favorites. Not necessarily favorite grandaughter or grandchild, just his Favorites in general life. We were sure, while he often asked us to pipe down, that he was immensely proud of our wit and boisterous nature. Whether that is true or not we joked(and continue to joke) about it and the magic of believing it has made it true in our own minds.

When I got the phone call about Grandpa being in the hospital Amy was one of the first people I thought of because my relationship with her has always been closely tied to our dear Grumpy. She was there in Billings when I got there. She took the second trip to the hospital with me and the entire 2 hour drive there and back was like a conversation marathon, like 2 hens cackling as Grumpy would have called us. When he passed away she was the first person I talked to aside from my immediate family and I knew she understood EXACTLY how I was feeling because she was feeling it too. She knew the family needed each other and took work off and just came. She checked on Grandma and brought cake from a coworker and watched my kids while I worked frantically on things for the funeral. She came the next day too. And the next. She helped me with the slide show and cried with me and talked with me. The whole family was grieving but it was especially comforting for me to have Amy there that whole week because Grandpa was her Grumpy too.

Some people have more than their share of trials in life and in the very least Amy has had beyond anyone's fair share of health trials. She is right now in fact in a physical battle for her life though most people would never guess it. She's still the one telling the stories to my little brothers to make them laugh hysterically. Still the one checking on Grandma and praying daily for her to find peace and comfort. Still being the dutiful grandaughter to Joyce who can always count on her. Still my Amy. I wrote this because writing is theraputic. If you've never tried it you should. And you should always write for yourself if you want it to do any real healing. I also wrote this not only to show my love but to honor a person I've looked up to since I was a little girl and to tell her I've got her back.

So to Amy: Game is on and I'm with you as we battle for your health and happiness!

Flower Girl from ... well you decide ;)

2010-10-06T15:32:00.031-06:00

Time for my big debut....alright, I can do this.

No one told me there were pictures involved!

Deep breath...almost time.

Yeah nevermind. I don't want to do this.

I said NEVERMIND! This isn't as cool as I thought it would be.

What are you doing mom? PICK THEM UP!

Get me out of here. NOW!

Role on the ground round 2. Now do you believe me!?!?

What in the world just happened....

Wow......are girls always going to be this complicated?
-That's gotta be what Tallyn(ringbearer) was thinking!!

Passing On

2010-09-27T21:19:00.003-06:00

I believe that God knows who I am. I also believe he wants me to have peace and happiness. This belief comes from more than conviction but I see little signs here and there that leave me little room for doubt. About two months ago I felt a desire to revisit some profound literature I'd read about 5 or 6 years ago by and about the author C.S. Lewis. I did enjoy his world of Narnia but my interest centered in his real life love story. He found Joy Goodman (well actually she most definitely found him) but they found each other later in life. He was in his 60's and had been a lifelong bachelor. Shortly after they wed she died a slow painful death, a tragedy which shook Lewis's faith and inspired his published journal about his grieving the loss in "A Grief Observed." Two months ago I bought a new book about the life and love of Lewis and his beloved Joy. In the process I found my new copy of A Grief Observed only to find it was not actually a copy of it but an annotated companion for it. My original had been borrowed and never returned. My longing to have my own copy of it increased and I ordered a copy on September 9th. It went against my book rules (we wouldn't have a penny left if I bought every book I wanted whenever I wanted it) but I couldn't put off that feeling, need, longing to have that book any longer. The next day Jimmy called and told me Grandpa Don was in the hospital and had had a brain aneurysm. I didn't think about the book once in the two weeks that followed.

I knew the day would come when Grandma Pat or Grandpa Don would experience a health crisis but I just didn't think about it. His 83 years of life and the 27 years of my life that overlapped were just not long enough for me. Right now I don't feel like I can write about what the next two weeks were like. I traveled to Billings on September 10th and saw Grandpa in the hospital 3 different days. When he passed away on September 20th I felt it was a blessing for him to go home and be free from his broken body. The funeral was on September 25th and it was beautiful. I smiled and laughed and loved a lot during the last two weeks but there is also a new feeling of loss or more a feeling of missing. It's okay and I'm glad it is there but I haven't had to lose or miss much in my life and it has cracked my heart in a certain place.

We drove back to Vernal the day after the funeral. In my mailbox was a special gift, "A Grief Observed." Special to me and on the exact day, waiting at the exact moment I needed it most. How had it found me? It's simply a very personal token of love from my Heavenly Father who knows my heart and how to heal it. I had repeatedly wondered why I felt the need so strongly to buy the book. I had a running list in my head of people who may need it or that might in the future want to borrow it from me. I had no idea it was actually for me. That I was actually acting on a deeply personal need it would fill for me at a difficult time I had no idea was coming and oh so soon, one day later in fact. For me there are no words to express my awe and gratitude for the Lord's tender mercies.

Sitting with Grandma Pat and her sister Connie after the
burial service. A smile still possible among the heartache.
I suppose where there is love the hope of happiness still lingers.

Brian representing our family, placed his
boutonniere on Grandpa's casket

A tribute to Grandpa Don and Grandma Pat has been posted at http://www.donscoffield.blogspot.com/.

All about perspective

2010-09-15T16:12:00.001-06:00

This is our family blog and you know our typical blog posts focus on Ryanna and Q with the occasional opinion based post like the last one. I am posting this comment from my last post because some people were interested in this topic and I would guess would be interested in the following perspective.

I want to preface my comment by saying that I don't want to take away from Maralee's plight and the terrible injustice that has been served to her. It is truly a terrible situation and, because of my personal situation, I don't understand how it happened. But I would like to try to adjust the attention a bit from "mother vs. father" to "justice vs injustice" by describing my situation, which I believe is, unfortunately, very common.

I was married for 20 years and during that time until the last 3 years, I was able to provide for my family financially, primarily with my income. Eight years before my divorce, my ex-wife decided that, because our children were older, she would start working part-time to bring in a little extra income. In short, she was put in a situation by her employer that lead her and her "boss" to commence having an affair. When I found out about this, her summer job was just ending, so I thought it possible we could overcome her "infidelity." When the following summer rolled around, she informed me she was, again, going to work for the same employer working, again, alone with the same "boss." Because of her strong will, I felt I was unable to do anything about the situation. She had this same summer job for 5 years. God only knows what else occurred during this time.

After this time, I was laid-off from my job, so it was necessary for my ex-wife to find full-time work. So as not to drag this on, during the 9 months it took for our divorce to become final, I found out she was "dating" her "boss" of this new job for nearly the 3 years she worked there. During the last year of our marriage, she spent every Sunday with him, without (at the time) my knowledge. They also went on several "business" trips together, by themselves.

My point of this is that, even though she was unfaithful for the last 8 years of our marriage, admittedly committing adultery, and doing everything in our divorce settlement to make me look like the "bad guy," she was awarded custody of our 2 minor daughters. Why? Because in Utah, a father has practically no chance in he?? to get custody of his children, regardless of the situation. Ok--I still get my visitation--right? No. N-o.

I totally agree that the mother has the most loving and nurturing influence with the family's children. As it should be. But the mother can also have the most damaging and unjust influence. In 3 years and 4 months, I received NO legal visitation and paid 100% of my child support, even while unemployed for 1 1/2 years.

I admit my comments here are quite brief, and don't explain the full scope of my situation, but I would like to say that I feel I did everything I could for my family, financially, temporally, and spiritually. I also did what I thought I should, to keep our marriage together. But because of selfishness, this wasn't to be.

My biggest regret is the time I missed with my daughters, particularly through their teenage years. And I also regret the relationship I should have had, had my son not become estranged from me for over ten years because of his mother's and grandmother's negative influence.

I want to say, again, that Maralee's situation should never have occurred. I am still just baffled by it. But I have learned from my own situation that the justice system often fails those who have been faithful, true, and responsible in their actions. I have learned that those that sit in power over us are just as human and just as susceptible to the same evil temptations and selfishness as everyone else. (BTW, the judge that oversaw my divorce was disbarred 2 years later for years of illegal drug use and having several adulterous affairs.)

I just want to point out that injustice in marriage and divorce is rampant and happens to the best of us--mother or father.

I wish Maralee the best and would do anything I could to help her and her family with her situation. My (new, sweet) wife has known her family for many years and has the utmost respect for them. Thanks to anyone that read this.

Back to me, Kristin. It is obvious that the moral compass of many leaders, judges, and average Joe's in the world is far from "moral". The injustice described above as well as the injustice of the mother losing her children based on income is a direct result of our society replacing morality(choosing right over wrong, good over evil) with entitlement. Like in the case above the mother gained custody of the children simply by being the mother. Her adultery and consequential divorce holding no consequence in access to the children whose lives she has eternally disrupted and in some cases destroyed at least temporarily. So no consequence for the parent whose actions caused the most harm to the children's security but the ultimate price to pay for the spouse who had no desire to break up the family. In the one case the mother gaining custody based solely on her status as "mother" and the other case a father gaining custody based solely on his 6 figure income. The reason this issue deeply disturbs me is because cases like this have the potential to set the precedence for future cases of a similar nature. What could that mean for stay-at-home mothers and their financially uncompensated full-time gig?

The worth of Maternal care dwarfs the benefit of a wealthy lifestyle.

2010-09-10T15:40:00.002-06:00

This story on this blog http://www.mbhfundraising.blogspot.com/ has inspired me to speak up for Mothers, who the weight of this world rests on. In particular I speak about the worth of Stay-At-Home mothers.

Is my "career choice" at this time as a stay-at-home mother a waste as some have put it? A "waste of potential" as I've been told by a sincere but altogether too feminist for my taste friend. I CHOOSE to sacrifice a paycheck in order to become my children's life. To be the constant source of love, patience, and example. Not everyone can or desires this path BUT I DO and I believe that my sacrifice at this time is not only worth it but is a divine mission. I'll be damned if a judge rules a mother who has chosen to stay home with her children as unqualified to raise her children because at the time of the divorce her financial prospects pale in comparison to her husbands 6 figure income. I was raised in a modest home where stories are told of occasional bare cupboards and starving brothers scraping raisons off the floor to curb their hunger. Of course noone remembers this version of events except them but still it is fair to say we survived without luxury and nothing went to waste though my parents chose never to seek financial assistance. Over the years financial status improved due to living a practical lifestyle within the means earned. Six figure income? How about middle-lower class in Montana.

MY POINT: I grew up in a home full of love and committment from my parents. I learned to work hard, be practical, and seek loving relationships. After leaving home the natural path for me was to hope one day to have children of my own, a home where I could share the kind of love I'd felt my entire life. Meeting Brian started me on that path, much earlier than I expected I must admit, but I've felt a divine power guiding our life since then. What could I possibly mean by that you may ask? Well I'm 27 with 2 young kids. I have the power to make or break their world with my words, attitude, and sincere attempt at raising them to be the real deal; people who reach out around them in this world to lift and think beyond themselves.

If I accomplish this divine mission then my lack of a luxurious lifestyle to give them doesn't matter. In fact, it never did matter. It is the care, love, time, and respect we show our children that determines our worth as parents. No mother should lose her children because she cannot offer a 6 figure income. They may gain the whole world but never grow a heart to feel for humanity or eyes to see the good they can do through kindness.

Preschool, Rhyming, and a Beach in Vernal?!?!

2010-09-09T23:07:00.001-06:00

I set up a little classroom at Brian's office and started doing preschool with Ryanna this week with my friend Lauren and her little boy Dax. If you can't tell from Ryanna's face she feels SOOO BIG and is loving it.

Quinten is just as enamored by the school fun. He is all about drawing on the board just like Ryanna.

Quinten ate his entire lunch while holding that clipboard in front of his face. I guess he likes green looking food! I wanted to post the video I have from this scene but I'll just have to tell you all about it. Ryanna loves to sing loud, really loud. So it is no surprise that Quinten is often humming a tune that sounds a lot like whatever Ryanna's latest ballad happens to be. Well on this day the green and blue clipboards we have inspired her rendition of "I'm so Blue" - a song off of Veggie Tales. Just so you know I love Veggie Tales. If you've never seen an episode try Lord of the Beans(spoof of Lord of the Rings) or Minnesota Cook(Indiana Jones spoof). Funny and kid friendly. Anyhoo, Ryanna found the blue clipboard and held it in front of her face while belting out "I'm so BLUE-UE-UE, BLUE-UE-UE, BLUE-UE-UE UEEEE! I'm so BLUE I don't know what to do!" When Quinten picked up the green clipboard (singing "OO-OO-OO" just like his sister by the way) she decided to do some freestyling and came up with "He's so GREE-EE-EEN, GREE-EE-EEN, GREE-EE-EE-EEN!!! He's so GREEN he don't know what he mean!" Not only did I consider this clever for a 3-year-old but I was excited to see her putting her rhyming skills to work. Rhyming has been her latest game she has come up for me to play with her before bed. It goes something like this. Me: Light. Ry: Flight. Me: Sight. Ry: Kite. She's getting really good at it. I'm loving this time with her and was especially thrilled when we finished Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and she begged me to read it again.

Here's Ryanna's Baywatch audition. I had no idea Steineker Resevoir has beautiful sandy beaches. Sure they can't compare to a real ocean beach but when you live in the middle of nowhere, in the mountains, this scenario is highly unlikely. There are plenty of truly gorgeous, sandy, perfect for sandcastles spots and the sound of the water is heavenly. I just read my book while the kids run, dig, chase, hide, and soak up the sun. This will be a regular activity next summer. It is just a shame we didn't discover it until September!

Things turned ugly when Quinten's stick met Ryanna's shoulder. I didn't see the actual moment of contact but I'm pretty sure it involved Ryanna trying to take Quinten's stick away and he wasn't having it.

I love anywhere the kids can get their energy out while I can do something I love too.

Chair, Bed, Tree, Room,Mulan Wall, Basket, John, and Clo

2010-09-09T16:40:00.001-06:00

Ryanna has been bitten by the mommy bug. Some little girls start carrying around baby dolls when they are still a baby. Ryanna, however, never mothered, named, or nurtered her dolls though she has them. They were more like decoration in her room. This week, however, I've seen this girl transform into a little mommy machine. She has her babies on a strict schedule of feeding and bedtimes. I've also noticed this nurturing side eeking it's way into her sistering and she talks to Quinten the way I do most the time.

"Okay Quinty. Let me help you with your sock. Leave it on so your toes are toasty. Love you buddy boy."

When I heard this I nearly melted by its cuteness, especially when I consider the many times she has teased and tortured him. She's also been teaching him things: words like poop-poop, and skills like how to stack blocks and put together train tracks.

Well as I've been typing this Ryanna has been bringing her dolls, barbies, ponies, etc in to my room one at a time and naming them. There is the big baby named Basket, the twin babies Tree and Room, the ponies named Chair and Bed, then there is the Mulan barbie doll now known as Mulan Wall. Are you noticing a theme here?? So she might not be the most creative name-comer-upper but I have to give her props on originality. There something very hippy about naming your baby Tree, very Hollywood....

Oh she did name one of her babies something traditional. His name is John but she's not sure she likes it so I'll keep you updated. Oh Ryanna just came up with yet another pony to name and announced her name is "CHLO - like Clothes only short!" She's getting better. :)

Beware of the whisper

2010-08-31T00:58:00.004-06:00

It's quiet and past midnight. I'm thinking about a variety of things like how this life and our happiness is a matter of heart; how we respect and love those around us. I just finished watching Les Miserables if that explains why. This train of thought naturally led me to think about my ability to love in the way I speak and treat those around me. Unfortunately, after feeling content that I'm generally a kind and generous person I thought about some specific moments today and the way I spoke to my kids. To put it simply my bathroom had become Sea World with the extra special effect of having a roll of toilet paper shredded and all over compliments of the puppy. We were all in the bathroom because I told myself there was no way of getting around the job of laundry and no more excuses just get going. I'm pretty sure when I get in that mode my body releases some kind of hormone that my kids and the puppy pick up on. It immediately sets them into panic mode to regain my attention as the number one priority and all hell breaks loose. So in the time it took me to run upstairs and put some laundry away so I could start a new load Ryanna was "washing her hands after going potty" aka bathing the bathroom, Quinten, Shelly, and herself all the while pantless. Quinten was standing on top of Shelly's pet carrier helping out and like I said Shelly was busying herself with shredding TP. Did you know one average roll of toilet paper when shredded can fill a bathroom floor up to your knee? My blood pressure spiked and I firmly(let's be honest, firmly = yelled) "STOP IT!" This didn't really phase anyone so I entered the redzone. When this happens I get Ryanna's attention using a truly heartbreaking method. I hate to admit it but that's when with fire in my eyes and pure evil in my voice, I whisper "Why can't you just listen to me?" It almost scares me now to think of it because I remember how that whisper came out of my mother's lips and its effect is lasting considering the thought can still make me shudder. So it is no surprise that Ryanna burst into tears and more trauma ensued. In those moments I'm not at my best and it's so easy to see that redzone mom face, while effective in the moment, could be replaced by a route that takes more patience and maturity. When I keep my cool and take things in stride there is more balance in our home. Ryanna and Quinten make our lives. Their innocence and personalities fill our lives with joy when we open our eyes to what this world looks like through their eyes. When I take a timeout to think it through I can see that though the messes and tedious moments of motherhood are many, the special and irreplaceable moments I share with my children throughout a day dwarf even the messiest of bathroom extravaganzas.

The love I am capable of as a mother, is at its best when even in those frazzled moments it shines through above all else! I can't promise to get it right every day but I can easily promise to keep trying even though I know I'll fail once and a while. I'm just grateful for the unconditional love those kids show me and Ryanna's blunt reminders to "Say sorry mom". When we get out the sorries and pass around some hugs it occurs to me, who wouldn't enjoy a waterfight in a white wonderland?

Enough has been said in words but a picture is worth a thousand of those

2010-08-12T22:12:00.000-06:00

The average person may ask what the difference is between many of these pics but a Grandma would know and that's who these are for. :) Love you Momma!

For the millionth time QB is my initials not my destiny!

Peekaboo!

I'll never tell you, not for a hundred binkys!

Mom calls me a charmer. Love that lady!

Look what I can do.

Where does my inspiration come from you ask?
It just comes.

Blue Mountain only took about 2 hours to build. Call it a gift!

Beta Carotine? Yes please!

This is from daddy's garden???

Our big 3 1/2 year old Ryanna (p.s. Quinten's follows this post)

2010-08-11T00:22:00.004-06:00

Oh goodness where to begin. This girl is like a tidal wave of every emotion all day long and Brian and I take our turns of pulling our hair out while the other laughs and enjoys the clever, often exploding lecture or defense that this 3 year old can cook up. I could write my own book on the glory of Love and Logic parenting(http://www.loveandlogic.com/ if you're wondering what this is all about). One problem: this little girl can burn my fuse in about 2 seconds and then it's Love and Logic what?? On the same token she can double me over with laughter in less than 1 second not to mention melt a heart in the time it takes a corner of her mouth to curl. Aside from her pursuit of world domination, here is what she has been up to:

*Big Sister Extraordinair! Or in her mind a second mother/dictator to Quinten. The two of them chase, wrestle, and amuse each other all the time with less and less disastrous endings. She's the first to notice Q's happenings and likes telling him when he's being a big boy.

*Finding new physical limits. For a kid who waited to crawl, cruise, and walk months after the average she sure loves a physical challenge now. Just yesterday I watched her push the ottoman about 4 feet from the couch and began a game of throwing herself between it and the couch. She kept inching it further until I had to ask her to stop moving it. I've thought about finding something like tumbling to enroll her in this year.

*Her memory amazes me, from events she recalls to books she has memorized. Most recently she asked me about the time Mary came over and they sang the Cinderella song and drew pictures. She was talking about her 2nd birthday and talked about details like it was yesterday. She also memorizes her books and I have no idea until one day she just starts telling me it and knows every word from beginning to end. The first time she did this was in May with her book Happy Bear: Christmas Star. Tonight she "read" me a book I've read her 7 or 8 times. It amazes me.

*Social situations usually decrease Ryanna's self control. Some of the time she is thrilled to be out and around people and behaves herself while enjoying herself. Other times she is intimidated and clams up. Her version of shy is often accompanied with screaming fits when asked to participate or when someone trying to help gives her an encouraging smile or pep talk. These situations are doomed for meltdown which we've learned will be nothing less than an out of control ear splitting tantrum. Embarrassing? Yes. Predictable? Nope. I say it is unpredictable because other times she seems to thrive on the sounds, sights, movement, and people around her. She is quick to make friends at the park and most of the time is a great helper and playmate in nursery. What keeps our heads spinning is we have yet to figure out what to expect, when. So far we only know that she lives in the moment and is sure about her feelings or choice in whatever moment that is. Some kids can be talked out of being shy, angry, sad, or over excited. At this point Ryanna knows herself and will be darned before you can change her mind; determined.

*As we've struggled with things just described there have been less than good parenting moments; When frustration has shown through more than the constant, unconditional love and pride we always feel in our hearts for Ryanna. She recently has deepened her sensitivity and wants to know she is loved and approved of. She wants to know that no matter what we love her. After some self reflection I decided to start some traditions of bonding to help show her(not just tell her) that she is not only my daughter but someone I love to be with.

*The tradition I am talking about is reading chapter books with her. We've always read books together and I know she enjoys that time with me. But now I've decided that she has graduated to chapter books and children series with mom. Since I was pregnant with her I knew I would read my favorite books to my children. I started collecting books that I loved (while growing up and discovered now as an adult) that I could share with them as they grew older. I really didn't expect to start this with Ryanna as a 3 year old but I felt strongly that this could be just the thing to deepen our bond and communicate my love for her by sharing my love of good books. The first book had to be something special and I knew what it would be without question: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl. My earliest childhood memory is sitting on the green, shag carpet at my mom's feet flanked by my 2 older brothers as she read this book to us. That memory is so precious to me that I have kept the very copy of the book my mother read to me from, waiting for the day I could read it to my kids. To already be there is an emotional time for me. It makes me feel like I am like my own mother and that thought lends assurance that I'm on the right track.

*Ryanna is a friend. She talks about her "two best friends Kenna and Bensy" all the time. For the last two weeks the last thing she asks before falling to sleep is if she will see her friends the next day. I've learned the surest way to get her to stay in bed is to tell her if she doesn't get up we'll "see about playing with your friends tomorrow." We are so lucky to be surrounded by amazing friends here in Vernal and that my two best friends here Kristen Baumgarten and Sha Nielson have wonderful children my kid's ages. I couldn't ask for more while living away from our families.

*A close second to talking about her friends is asking about her cousins: where they are, when we will see them again, and if they will come to Vernal soon. Ryanna has 3 girl cousins within 6 months older than she is and just this summer has decided she LOVES them and needs to play with them SOON, in her words.

*Did I mention Shelly is petrified of Ryanna? Do I really need to explain why?

*Ryanna has red, white, and blue running through her veins. If you ask her where she is from she will sometimes say she's from "Vernal, Utah, United States in America". She has a placemat of the United States and on her own has learned many of the states by asking us the names and remembering them. She likes to review places she has been and where she hopes to go again. The other day she got the map out and asked me where California was. Not to tell her but she asked as a teacher would a student. She then told me that "when it snows we will go to California." We spent last Christmas in San Diego with Grandpa Baldwin and Grandma Barbara. Ryanna is all onboard with Brian's plan for that to be an annual event. :)

Obviously I could go on and on as I already have. As a mother I have moments every day it seems where I feel inadequate and question my abilities. I realize that that mostly indicates that I have been blessed with a strong, high spirited daughter who knows who she is and where she is going. What better qualities could I ask for? She will be facing an ever increasing complex world full of confusion and corruption and it will take nothing less of determined strength to conquer what comes her way. I love this little girl and her big spirit. Brian adores and admires her with me. Quinten looks to her and only knows a world with her marching head held high in it. For now she is a leader and light in our home and someday she will be that in this world.

Quinten Nicholas

2010-08-10T18:54:00.008-06:00

As cliche as it sounds I am constantly thinking how fast time flies, that Quinten is still a baby, and Ryanna a toddler. Reality is Ryanna is long past being a toddler and Quinten is the very definition of toddlerhood. Lately there has been some challenges(screaming, tantrums, sharing issues) but I never want to forget the fun, hilarious things of this time too.

Quinten Nicholas is 16 months old and is a little charmer. Here is what he's been up to:

*Finally using words and phrases such as Stop It, No, Puppy, Door, and That. He is completely unwilling to parrot words you ask him to(Ryanna loved doing this) so we don't try too often.

*He has to know what is inside every cupboard, behind every door, and under every pillow, rock, chair, curtain. You get the idea.

*He is not to be trusted around breakable objects and sees no reason why I should stop him from launching china dishes across a room(our friends like Mary know what I'm talking about). He rarely feels the need to sit calmly and observe. Instead what better way to see what is going on than to get in the middle of it!

*Quinten is a social bug and likes to be around other kids. Today at the Dr. office he joined a pack of brothers in the waiting room and stood right in the middle of them jabbering instructions. He would point at the fish take and blurt out some phrase and then they'd all head over to check it out, then on to the dinosaur toys, etc.

*He loves going into nursery and discovered its joys a few times while mom was helping when they were short teachers. He runs in there and knows right where to find cars, trucks, and the race track. He still has 2 months before he can go in there so hopefully between now and then he doesn't change his mind.

*Whenever his Daddy is home he wants to know where he is and how he can join in on whatever he is doing. Nothing can make Quinten cry like Brian leaving(especially leaving without a hug, kiss, and goodbye).

*He has made friends with Shelly. She trusts him much more than Ryanna and likes to play with him. Though he is busy he has a calm nature most the time.

*He's a good eater and tries most anything dad and mom are eating. He has phases where he loves certain things like strawberries and grapes and then turns his nose up at them for a while. In general however nothing is below him if he is hungry, including the occasional trip to the dog food dish.

*Quinten loves to play with Ryanna and they enjoy playing chase. He is learning to fend for himself and will push sister back if he is being bullied or hang onto a toy in tug a war and often win.

*He is quick on his toes and can turn on a dime if he sees mom coming at him to take something away. He's past the 10 head bonks a day stage and now only gets owies from being overly adventurous. Just the other day he was climbing down the stairs(backwards on his belly like most babies do) and then on the last step he stood up and with all the confidence in the world stepped off it just like he was big enough to. Well this of course resulted in head trauma but I guess he just had to see if he could do it.

*Quinten likes sitting on mom's lap to read books but only when it is his idea and only for a few minutes at a time. His favorite books seem to be about dinosaurs. Man are boys hardwired!

*He has a few shows that if Ryanna is watching them he will sit and watch. His favorite seems to be Mary Poppins and he even "sings" the songs. His favorite is the "I Love To Laugh" song. There is a line that says "Some laugh too fast. Others they BLAST!" and right on cue he BLASTS out his laugh just like Burt.

*Along with the Mary Poppins music he has a love of shaking his booty. If there is any music on or dancing on the TV he gets excited and starts running in circles until he falls over from being dizzy. Nothing gets him going like the primary music, especially Book Of Mormon Stories or Follow The Prophet. He'll even stick his tongue out of the corner of his mouth to concentrate on his superb dancing skills.

*As sad as it is for mom to admit he has entered the tantrum phase of life. There have only been a handful of them but I must admit it nearly brings me to tears to see my baby not acting like the sweet little angel he once was, almost like I was delusional enough to think he wouldn't ever have them.....

*He loves being naked though luckily he hasn't tried to strip his diaper himself. He does however fight tooth and nail to get away while he is being changed so he can be FREE! After his bath I often find I need more diapers and run down to grab some in the other room. He is usually a mile away by then and comes flying down the stairs in his birthday suit to hide from mom. Brian finds this hilarious.

*We recently changed him from the high chair to a booster seat at the table. He makes it a mobile affair pushing his chair as far from the table as possible, scooting it to the other end of the table, or making room for him to kick his feet up on the table while he eats. I thought it would be a comparable mess to the high chair but somehow I was dead wrong and wonder what I was thinking. Hehe.

*Loves to give big kisses accompanied by a "Mwah!"

(and as you might guess right after this picture was taken that glass ended up on the floor and smoothie was all over not only the kitchen but the carpet and my new couch - what was I thinking??)

New Spice | Study like a scholar, scholar

2010-07-17T20:29:00.000-06:00

Anyone who has seen the Old Spice commercials could appreciate this but I especially got a kick out of it because I spent a good bazillion hours "studying"/sleeping/living in that library. Now that I'm past my BYU days I think back rather fondly on the good and miserable times I had there. :) Gotta love it!

New additions to the family

2010-07-09T17:19:00.001-06:00

Meet Shelly the newest member of the Baldwin family. She's actually Shelly III in Brian's family. We told Ryanna she could name her and she chose Shelly and it fits. Somehow Ryanna says she still remembers Shelly II who died when Ryanna was about 20 months old. She has a picture of her with Shelly so that obviously helps and Brian loved Shelly II so much it's only appropriate to remember her by giving the new puppy her name I guess. :)

Brian's sister Stefanie has a male and female papillon(that is the type of dog she is) and when they had puppies we were interested. Because they love us and are SOOO awesome they saved the mellow sweet one for us. I'm the least dog enthusiastic of the family but have to admit she is sweet, smart, and not at all a burden. The kids love her and she seems to have taken to us as well. As long as she keeps up the good work I'll be proud to announce WE ARE DOG OWNERS! Thanks Stef, John, and Lizzy for trusting her with us. We love her already.

Our neighbors have a papillon that is only about twice the size of Shelly. I like that she'll stay puppy size forever! Papillons are called the Butterfly Dog because of the resemblence of their ears to a butterfly. She's so tiny and cute but not at all afraid of any neighborhood dogs she's been around. In fact they seem more worried about her than she is of them.

Oh and one more thing. Brian finally got the couch he has wanted. Yes we already have a nice couch but it pretty much took up our entire living room and it drove Brian crazy. It took a year of "discussing" but we got it and at the right price too. We bought it in Provo for half the price it costs here in Vernal. So where is our beautiful couch?? In the garage of course making a mighty fine man cave for Brian. Somehow I don't think anyone is surprised. haha.

Hiking, Cousins, and Corn Hole

2010-07-03T22:11:00.002-06:00

Brian's brother Carl and his family live in Fort Collins, CO. It had been way too long since we had spent time with them so we road tripped a couple hours east into the Rocky Mountains. When we arrived Ryanna got busy playing right away with her cousins Lydia and Cynthia. Today we made the hour drive to the Rocky Mountain National Park for some hiking and a picnic. Ryanna loved every minute of the hiking and sights. She especially loved the water falls and chipmunks. Quinten wasn't sure how he felt about being in the backpack but did well overall and even napped on Brian on the walk down. We hiked a little over a mile up a trail to Dream Lake which was gorgeous. The only downer was how busy the trails were and the picnic area at Dream Lake. It was hard to even get a picture without someone walking into it. We all had a great time and I'm hoping it translates into kids that sleep ALL night long tonight. We arrived back in Fort Collins late in the afternoon and learned how to play Corn Hole followed by an Independence Day themed BBQ.

Quinten and Mommy ready for some adventure!

Lydia was SO excited to bring out the cake decorated as an American flag, made with blueberries, strawberries, and whipped cream. DELICIOUS!

Corn Hole is a game that is popular in the midwest. Emily is from Kentucky and Carl from Ohio. Basically there are two boards like the one above placed 27 feet apart. Each team has 4 bags that look like bean bags that are filled with corn. The goal is to throw the beanbag onto the opposite board. If the bag lands on the board you earn 1 point. If it goes through the hole near the top you earn 3 points. First team to 21 points wins. We had a great time though it got a little competitive at times. I've never played horseshoes but apparently it is like horseshoes but a lot less dangerous considering there were children running back and forth the entire time we played. This made for great backyard fun. I bet if you google it you could purchase your own set somewhere online. :)

Quilt Raffle

2010-06-29T15:06:00.000-06:00

Love and support for the Baumgarten family has come from all over the United States and even other parts of the world. Several months ago I received an email from Helen Smith, a long time family friend of Josh's parents Pete and Lyle Baumgarten in Virginia. She is by profession a longarm quilter and planned to make a quilt for baby Eliza. At the suggestion of a friend she also decided to make a quilt to be auctioned in a raffle as a fundraiser and got to work on it. I received the quilt this week and it is GORGEOUS!! I can only imagine the hours of hard work and love that went into making this one of a kind quilt. Thank you Helen for your Christlike service and love for the Baumgarten family. The design of this quilt is the perfect representation of the people who have, in their own ways, reached out to Josh and his family. Thank you all!

WHAT: Quilt Raffle

WHEN: At least through the month of July

WHERE: TBD. The quilt will be displayed somewhere locally in Vernal. We should know for sure where that will be by July 1st or 2nd. More information to come.

DETAILS: 1 Ticket for $1.00 or 6 Tickets for $5.00

I need your help! A raffle is most successful when many people are involved in selling the tickets, spreading the word, and offering places and events for the raffle to be set up. So, if you are looking for a service project to do with your kids, your church youth group, or for yourself please join in helping.If you have resources that will help make the raffle a success please offer them! If you have any idea for upcoming events where the raffle could be set up please share! If you own a business and you have a spot the raffle information can be displayed please let us know! With such a beautiful item being raffled I know that together we can make this a success. Please contact me!

CONTACT: Kristin Baldwin, cell: 801-225-3946, text: 435-239-3881, email: kristinsbaldwin@gmail.com

Do you know anyone with MS?

2010-06-29T14:00:00.003-06:00

My beautiful friend Toby was diagnosed with MS at the age of 21. She and I lived on the same floor of the dorms our Freshman year at BYU. I have so many fun memories with her including her introducing me to avacados/guacamole - my favorite! She was and I'm sure continues to be the life of any party. When I heard she married her boyfriend Jake from Freshman year I was beyong happy for them. I knew they would make an amazing couple and family. She learned a few months after having her first baby that she has MS and over the next few years had three more beautiful children. She recently traveled to Costa Rica for a relatively knew treatment that hasn't been approved in the US yet. Her blog describes her journey and is so inspiring. If you or anyone you know is interested in the story of someone with MS who has found amazing results from a new treatment please visit her blog!

http://www.mamawithms.blogspot.com/

Summer Days

2010-06-24T21:16:00.000-06:00

Bri and I decided we needed a get-a-way so....we bought a FANTASTIC patio swing for our backyard. We figure an hour a day of relaxing outside over the course of a long hot summer will equal the psychological benefits of a tropical get-a-way. Makes sense right? And a swing on clearence saves us a few thousand dollars. :)

We LOVE Aunt Kayla!!!

2010-06-16T13:40:00.000-06:00

I am the luckiest sister in the world. I have 4 hilarious brothers and the smartest, sweetest, funniest, most AMAZINGEST sister ever to grace the planet earth. Not many people are blessed with a little sister at the age of 16. She'll turn 11 next month and I'm honestly amazed at her maturity and wisdom for someone who most would still consider a child. Ryanna and Quinten absolutely adore her and so do Brian and I. We're trying to convince Kayla she should stay ALL summer. Unfortunately I don't think it is Kayla we have to convince.....hehe. We went to the Vernal Temple this morning for a fun photo shoot to remember this wonderful time having her visit.

SWAGGER WAGON

2010-06-16T09:07:00.001-06:00

Kayla is staying with us this week which is AWESOME! We were watching America's Got Talent yesterday and saw this little 11 year old kid who was a "rapper" - this kid said he'd been rapping for 8 years making him 3 when he started. Come on, give me a break! So we decided to make up some raps as if we were Ryanna. Here's a little taste:
My name's Ryanna - WHA!
Allergic to Peanuts - TRUE!
I got my Soy BB
I got my Soy BB
I got my Soy BB
Soy Butter Bread - WORD.
Anyway, the video above is from my cousin's blog and it CRACKS us up. It's hilarious! Here's a shout out to all you mini van parents out there.

Flower girl or royal mischief maker??

2010-06-10T15:20:00.001-06:00

My cousin Mal got married last Saturday and it was a beautiful day. A year ago she asked if Ryanna would be the flower girl and after giving a full warning that Ryanna's personality type might not be a great match as a flower girl she insisted she didn't care how Ryanna acted and that she would love her to be the flower girl. Well, if you can't tell from the pictures Ryanna was adorable and the picture perfect flower girl.....until it came time to actually do the job. She was scared and didn't like all the people staring at her. I tried to coax her along but in the end it ended in a royal meltdown. I ended up throwing a few handfuls of flowers while Ryanna rolled on the ground screaming. It was classic for sure and provided some entertainment. After the ceremony was over she insisted on picking up every single flower petal I had thrown on her behalf. "They don't go on the ground" according to Ryanna. Thankfully my cousin was so sweet about it and said it was perfect and adorable and she got a kick out of the whole scene. I just love her! She even had a whole bag of presents for Ryanna that Ryanna loved. So if you have a wedding coming up I suggest you make sure your flower girl is at least 5 or you just might end up being the flower girl!!

We are having a great time with my family!! Look at that rowdy bunch. :)

Beautifying the world one gas meter at a time.

2010-05-28T20:09:00.001-06:00

What would you do if you didn't technically have a back yard and the little patch of grass behind your home was neglected and homely? Well I can tell you what we did today but I think the pictures will speak for themselves. On a sidenote: Ryanna made the most of her picnic time as she called it and it was adorable to watch Quinten "help" Brian prep, plant, and water the flowers. We all had a blast!!

Flowers.....for me!?!? Well I do declare!

2010-05-28T10:18:00.001-06:00

Thanks Bri. You do keep getting better with time!

So that is how Brian decides to re-enter the blogging world....

2010-05-26T20:48:00.000-06:00

I'm not at all happy about that last post although I was asking for it by posing for the picture. Also, I know the only reason I am ticked is I truly do have a disfunctional relationship with sugar............Good thing Bri is so darn cuddly and cute or I would have to teach him a lesson. -Kristin

Confessions of a Choco-holic

2010-05-26T20:40:00.001-06:00

Tonight Brian remembered at the last moment that his softball banquet was tonight at the high school. Kristin, who felt that it was getting late and getting the kids ready would be difficult convinced Brian to go late. On the way out the door Kristin says, having knowledge that there would be such desserts, "If there is dessert on paper plates you have to bring some home." Brian, knowing that Kristin loves Chocolate, thought to himself, "Gee, I hope there are some brownies left for the coach that is 30 minutes left..."

Much to Brian's delight, because he loves to make his wife happy, there were many brownies and chocolate chip cookies. Brian grabbed some and folded a large paper plate with three brownies and two chocolate chip cookies inside and headed for home.

With a triumphant whistle Brian heads home and up the stairs... and then in the house ready to present Kristin with her dessert.

After Brian set his keys down he looked over on the counter in horror... an opened and scattered bag of hershey's kisses was on the counter. Brian said to himself outloud, "Oh no!! I'm too late!!"

Brian scrambled through the house wondering where his precious Kristin was. After searching the kitchen, bathroom and laundry room he turned and gasped. The sight was humerous but also disturbing. Brian knows that life with a 1 year old and a 3 year old is rough, but this??

Kristin had immersed herself in candy, so Brian ate the brownies :)

Just another Weekend

2010-05-24T08:50:00.002-06:00

What do you do at the park??

2010-05-21T14:11:00.003-06:00

Ryanna and her buddy Benson like to play just alike. I felt exhausted just watching them run around the park!! They sure were two cute little friends. FYI: Benson is also known as Harry Potter and more often than not has his "Perry Potter" glasses on. So I don't know what YOU do at the park but this is what these kids did today.

Swing.............

Climb.......

Smile................

Hang out............

Climb...........

Be Daring...........

Concentrate........

Slide............

Dig................

Chase..............

Springtime......really??

2010-05-21T13:45:00.000-06:00

"Beauty and Motherhood are One"

2010-05-04T13:39:00.003-06:00

Here is my modern day hero. I heard about her blog a few months ago (nieniedialogues.blogspot.com). Here is a WORTHY rolemodel for women of all ages. Her body is severly burned and scarred yet she is among the MOST beautiful women on earth. My favorite quote from this video is when she says, "I am not my body." She knows who she is and lives with a purpose. Women: if you don't believe she is anything special just watch the way her husband looks at her. The light of Christ radiates from her and there is no doubt that she is so much more than the scarred, aching body she resides in.

This week I read about a popular fitness guru who said she never plans on having children because of what it would do to her body. I pity this woman. She will never know the joy of giving your heart, hands, body, sleep, strength, and last ounce of energy to another human being; a precious baby sent from a Heavenly Father on loan to your arms. Yes, there are many important things we can do with our lives and not everyone is meant to be parents BUT a woman's body and all it is capable of is something to be celebrated not feared! No matter how much we exercise, moisterize, and otherwise cling to the fountain of youth it simply does not exist. The body will age, it will crumble, it will die, and it will decay. A life focused only on outward beauty will have nothing to take with them when they die.

I am forever grateful to have a mother who ALWAYS taught me in word and by example that my worth had everything to do with my heart and nothing to do with my body. I can only hope to accomplish a fraction of what my mother has. She did not have a career though she now has time to think about that. She did not spare her body (as only a woman with 6 children-one coming after age 40 can understand). She gave and gave and gave her heart, mind, and soul to my father and the six children they created and raised together. Now I understand it wasn't an easy road but they fought through the storms together. No career or bikini worthy body can compare to that. She is a woman who in the eternities will be surrounded by hundreds and thousands of people who love and cherish her and can never repay her for all she did.

From my mother I know that NOTHING makes me more beautiful than my privelage to be a mother. As Stephanie Nielson said, "Beauty and Motherhood are One."

Update

2010-05-02T11:46:00.001-06:00

(This is part of a letter I sent out to Brian's family and it is as close as I'll get to writing an update anytime soon. Enjoy!)

Ryanna turned three in February and seems to be growing up in different ways daily. Upon turning three she decided it was time to use the potty and hasn't had one problem. Considering the fight she had put up I was shocked but someone had told her when she turned 3 big girls use pottys and that was that. She loves to sing and lately "dance". She likes to make up songs and often cracks me up with her versions of "Good morning Merry Christmas(Sunshine)" and "Once there was a Bleed(snowman)". She loves musicals, just like her mom, and knows every word to every song on Mary Poppins. She enjoys nursery at church and I think is ready for Sunbeams but has to wait until 2011. In fact, Quinten will be in nursery with her for several months before she is in primary. She knows most of the primary songs already and will be a great help to the primary kids. I've subbed many times for the chorister this year in primary and it surprises me how many songs they don't know. Ryanna continues to love books and "reading". She tries to sound out words and has several she has memorized and can spell. She asks when she can go to school so I am working on getting a preschool group together that I would team teach. She is also into sports and is honestly more coordinated than I am. Her favorite part of day is when dad gets home and she can play baseball, catch, and soccer. So I guess she is a good blend of both Brian and I. :)

Quinten is a busy little boy and brings so much joy to our family. He turned 1 this month and is finally sleeping better at night which is a blessing. He started taking steps in January but is now finally a sufficient walker. Now he tries to run around and is back to getting bruises and owies. He is also a jabber box although doesn't use specific words much yet. He addresses each family member by name: Dada, Mama, Nana(Ryanna) and is good at pointing at what he wants or just getting it himself. His favorite thing to do is play with Ryanna which is a hazard he hasn't yet realized. She usually doesn't intentially hurt him but it does end up that way too often. The last few days I've noticed some progress and Ryanna has shown more concern about Quinten's safety and runs to Mom or Dad to get help rather than fix a situation herself. Quinten is a good climber and loves to empty cupboards, bang pans, and "help" when mom is loading or unloading the dishwasher. He's showing more personality and will growl when frustrated and smile/laugh/jabber/clap/wave at the smallest prompting. He waves now all the time and tries to get anyone and everyones attention in Walmart. He enjoys story time with Mom before bedtime and will even sit with Ryanna and let her point things out to him in their books. We are blessed to have this positive little boy in our family.

Life has been much busier the last few months. Brian started coaching girls softball and quickly learned it would be even more demanding than coaching football; three times as many games and road trips multiple times each week. He is a wonderful coach and has been a great role model for the team. The schedule has been difficult to keep up with though. We went with him to a tournament last month in Grand Junction and made it a fun little family getaway. Brian has also continued working on his Masters degree on top of everything else and will tentatively be finished in December which will be a great accomplishment and relief. A few months ago we looked into buying some real estate in Ohio and Brian even flew out to Cincinnati to see it. In the end we decided not to go ahead with it - too far for us to make worthwhile we decided. Brian still has such a love for Cincinnati so hopefully we'll find a way to connect with that area again. Brian is also enjoying the Jazz playing well in the playoffs and I pray they make it past the Lakers this next round. Brian loves his sport teams so much and it will be nice to see one go far in the playoffs.

My life has also become busier. As Quinten gets older and more mobile I find it even harder to get the little things done. I am on the county Literacy Commission and also continue to lead a library "tot n' mom" story time twice a month. The kids love the group time, songs, activities, and books. I've started taking the kids to a "Wiggles and Giggles" music group twice a month. Last week Ryanna led the singing time teaching the kids her favorite action songs: Head, Shoulder, Knees, and Toes, Happy-Frowny Face, If You're Happy and You Know It, etc. Quinten just enjoys running around while we sing. I try to take the kids to the park everyday though the weather has not been cooperating lately. I made some business contacts and have started working from home doing data entry and writing a newsletter. So far it has been good. We'll see with time.

Hope all is well with you!!!

Blessed

2010-04-28T20:49:00.005-06:00

I'm honestly speechless. I have the sweetest kids in the world.

We are truly blessed.

ps- thanks Mindy!! Everyone check out her photog blog.

All in 24 hours

2010-04-08T11:39:00.003-06:00

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. -Aesop

2010-04-07T09:02:00.002-06:00

Most of us avoid asking for help and some people even hate it. I know I have felt this way before. When it is someone I love that needs the help, however, I have to say I have none of those feelings and do not hesitate to ask. That's what I am doing through this blog www.dadnamedjosh.blogspot.com

If at any time of the year you find ways to help families in need please consider this family. Kristen was my first friend when we moved to Vernal and is now among my very best of friends. I think of this family like my own family. Josh, her husband will be starting radiation soon to battle a brain tumor and will likely be in treatment while Kristen delivers their fourth child, a little girl after three boys. My hope is that their focus can be on Josh's recovery and baby Eliza's arrival rather than the new financial strains they are facing.

Click here to visit the blog. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.